Does anyone else suspect their partner is neurodivergent? And how do you draw a line between neurodivergent and personality type?
For the record, I have ADHD and it was picked up on nearly 20 years ago while I was at school. I'm not always easy either but I'm really struggling in my marriage right now.
I strongly suspect DH has ASD or ADHD. Maybe more the latter as he's fine with eye contact and knows how to talk to people (although he says it drains him). Our son is on the spectrum and gifted. DH is also gifted at maths and art (same as DS) but struggled with English literature due to a "lack of comprehension" (his teacher's words).
Anyway, DH's personal hygiene has gone out the window (I feel bad disclosing this but I'd feel worse telling people we both know). I only resent him for this because in the past he's been very vocal about my appearance, particularly how I style my hair. He hates bobs, messy buns, and fringes. Apparently he was pissed off for weeks over my fringe (not that I care) but still wants to grow his hair long and not wash or comb it. His shorts have holes in them and his t-shirts are too small, but he'd rather spend money on his special interests than buy new clothes (so I'll buy them). If he hadn't have been so critical over women's appearances then I'd have more sympathy, but right now it feels misogynistic. Why is he worth the effort, but not me? Anyway, he hates showers because he hates shower curtains brushing against him and he worries about the water suddenly changing temperature.
We have to move shortly and he hasn't booked any time off work to help pack/move because he books his holidays at the same time every single year. There's no flexibility. I don't know how he thinks I can do it all myself!
He doesn't like birthday parties because balloons are loud if they pop.
Has almost an entire room dedicated to collectibles (Pokémon cards, plushies, football cards).
Wouldn't put me on his car insurance after I passed despite my job.
Executive functioning issues.