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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confusing ex

6 replies

Babygirlmum · 08/07/2023 17:10

Ex left me due to being pregnant and not wanting to be a dad, always told me he wanted to be together but couldn't for that reason as he wasn't ready, let me cut a very long story short he came into DDs life when she was 5 months old, we was going out as a family but we wasn't together, he confessed his love for me and said he wants to see where things go, this lad really did break me in the past leaving our daughter without a dad for a while and all through mg pregnancy, anyway, one thing led to another and after a few months of him seeing DD we started sleeping together, it was like old times and it felt like we was a little family and things was slightly good, yes I know I'm an idiot and should it never forgive him but I still loved him and he still loved me and it was nice for DD to have her dad, it was a long difference relationship so didn't see him much, I felt like he would turn when he went home it was like he wanted everything but without the relationship, he wanted us to go out on family days he wanted to sleep with me he wanted everything but not a full relationship, this would always confuse me and then I started to think is he using me for sex, this has gone on and then off again we have fell out and spoken again and he makes out like he absolutely hates me, like he will tell me he doesn't want nothing but just a few weeks ago he wanted me more than ever, what is this lad trying to do I am left very confused?

OP posts:
Shouldbedoing · 08/07/2023 17:13

He wants to have his cake and eat it. This will end in tears.

something2say · 08/07/2023 18:36

I think also that babies coming creates a strong bond and it is hard not to want 'happy families' even if there is no basis to build a family upon. I have seen many men change when a baby comes along - BUT not all.

You have to judge it. Stop sleeping with him. If he is serious, let him prove it. Scale back your contact with him and see what his response is.

Babygirlmum · 08/07/2023 18:48

It's like a vicious circle, he will say he is only here for the baby and wants a bond with the baby but then he will not ask about baby and will ask questions about me and if I have slept with people since I split from him and all kinds of stuff but recently he has turned completely cold and he has gone on a lads holiday. He is very confusing.

OP posts:
Elieza · 08/07/2023 20:14

He’s using you for sex. He’s also enjoying his power games over you

you deserve better.

he’s gone cold because he’s prob met someone else nd it’s a holiday with her not a lads one or if it is a lads one he’s probably hoping for some holiday action with women over there.

Don’t fall for his shit. Sorry OP

Holiday2024 · 24/01/2024 10:45

He wants the best of both worlds… you are better than that! Block him x

Watchkeys · 24/01/2024 12:40

Stay away from people who confuse you. That should sort it out.

It's not about trying to resolve your confusion, it's about opting out of it.

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