How do I be a better friend?

[twosmallbuttons]

In the past 6 months I've had close-ish friends who have had devastating family deaths. At the time I sent supportive messages, cards, attended one of the funerals. Then life got busy and I'm ashamed to say didn't touch base with one of them for months, even though I often thought of her.
I don't really know why this is, maybe the longer I left it the harder it got. And now, having just sent a message checking in with her, it feels trite. I feel so embarrassed and I have no excuse.

Does anyone have any suggestions of how I can make things better? And how to be better in future? I have had similar episodes throughout my life, just getting on with my own life and forgetting to check-in regularly with friends, and often not knowing what to say after so long. 😞

Check in more often? Let your friends know you care about them. It's simple really.
Maybe worth thinking about why you leave it so long - perhaps you like the 'idea' of friendship more than the actual practice - I have to admit, I'm a bit like that.
If you're not sure of what to say, maybe you don't actually have that much in common, and it'd be better to just let the friendship fade out.

Yes you're right, it is simple I suppose. We have been friends for many many years, supported each other through lots of good and bad, so it's very hard for me to let the friendships fade even though we don't have much in common anymore. I do care about them.