Hi everyone,
Just thought I would check on here as this has been troubling me recently. I had some wild years in my late teens, which left me a bit vulnerable. I then managed to put my life on track, but my mother moved near me soon after this (I was 26). She expected weekly Sunday visits and frequent phone calls. We get on extremely well so it didn't trouble me all that much, although it definitely took my time and might have stopped me making more friends as I was very busy with work, and still wary of people after my troubles, so it was easier to hang out with family. I managed to bring this down to two visits a month when I was stronger.
Now is she much older and has had a few health scares. But my sister, who lives far away, behaves as though it is completely uncool for me to spend so much time with my mother (currently one visit a week). I moved in with her for months when we feared for her life, and even then she acted as though this was untrendy.
There is always this subtext that I am boring, which I have never confronted her for. It's not like she's that wild herself - she claimed the family home, has three kids and a normal job. But as she is photogenic, her FB page looks glamorous and the things she does look more interesting as a result (drinks in garden with friends, normal city breaks like anyone can take nowadays). I don't promote myself in this way, but have a more interesting life than her (if we were to compete!)
But a few times recently, my mother has said she is similar to my sister; this makes me feel like the mug who devoted her time to her, while she admires the independent image my sister promotes.
So, what do you think? Are people who never see their parents more interesting? Have I been used all these years and should I have ruthlessly cut all ties with my family?
Thank you!