Pregnancy advice - Baby looming

[Lauranewmumtobe]

Hi, so Im a first time Mum-to-be and have a few struggles....some things I need advice on...before I have a total breakdown.

Today has been the ice breaker.

Im 37 weeks pregnant with my first, it has REALLY not been easy at all. First trimester sickness, bordering on being hospitalised. 2nd trimester I had sickness still along with restless leg syndrome, extreme fatigue and now I'm 37 weeks, Ive got severe pelvic floor pain, no sleep and still working. Partner hasn't supported me in stopping work and starting my mat leave due to financial pressure. He has a really good job and earns well, which I know comes at a cost, however he works 2+hours drive away and is ALWAYS stuck in M25 traffic coming home most days. We have discussed the need for him to be WFH or nearer to home as the due date approaches, but I feel like he has his priorities all wrong.

2nd issue - First of all, he works for the same company as his ex, who he was with for 4+ years, today he is working on a 'training course' in the head office, ( where she works and is based ) and has now landed it on me ( at 11am) that they are all going out for a 'celebratory lunch' (down the pub) most likely, after their training session. no mention of wanting to come home right after his training to help me, as I can barely stand for 2+ mins, let alone being home with 2 dogs and being extremely tired. This has made me so so anxious, due to the fact that his message read ' meeting with Ross, Karl...and others....'.

Ive had a breakdown this morning and cant stop crying,

a - at the thought that he would rather be down the pub, in the same vicinity as his ex, buying his team' lunch on his OWN card ( when he told me he was eating into his savings yesterday when I asked if we could buy something for the baby ) b- he just really doesnt care that he may miss, being stuck 2+hours drive away, his own first sons birth.

Please can someone tell me my thoughts and feelings are not unfair?

You poor thing, I don't know what your partner is up to but you must be feeling so uncomfortable and miserable after such a difficult pregnancy. Can your GP sign you off so you can rest?

There are several issues you need to unpick.

Firstly, why are your worried about him still working with his ex? Do you have cause for concern in some other way? Not saying that would be easy but you also need to be pragmatic, they’ve both moved on or are there trust issues generally?

Secondly, there is the disparity in salary and him making you continue work when you are physically unable. How will this play out on mat leave and beyond with him working such a distance away etc.?

Finally there’s the generally not being considerate to someone carrying a bowling ball around (his child!!). and the level of discomfort and pain this brings at this stage.

If I were you, unless there were causes for concern over the ex I would ignore that and be having serious come to fucking Jesus conversations with him about the rest. Otherwise you will be at home with baby ALLLLL day on your own, no financial or emotional support.

Whats your back up plan if this one turns out to be a twat long term as he’s not sounding great? Don’t give your job up whatever you do.