My date damped me

[Nousese]

Hello,

I have separated a year ago. Since April this year I was dating a guy i met in tinder. He is nice and since we met he always text me during the day, early morning and before going to bed and was telling me nice complements. We were seeing each other always on Tuesday and Sunday since we met. Last Sunday morning he didn't text me early so i call him. He didn't answer but immediately texted. We went out that day as normal. He continued to text me as normal and on Tuesday we couldn't meet as he has meetings he sent me an screenshot. Then on Thursday i didn't hear from him as usually early morning. I texted him asking if we can meet he said not today, sorry. Then i asked if we can talk and he said he will call me later. He called me we talked a bit i said to him that i was missing him and then he said i think we shouldn't see each other for a while. I don't care about as much as I should and i don't think this is fair on you. He told me to keep in touch and I said why shall i keep in touch if you don't want to see me. Then he said that is up to you. Then I started asking what about the plans he was making with me and he said he is not sure about having feelings for me. I am very upset and feel ill. I know I shouldn't but i am. I think he changed with me after probably starting to have sex with him 3 weeks ago. I wonder if it was due to this as i do not have much experience. Also, my belly is horrible flappy and like with wrinkles after pregnancy. I told him about it in advance. And when we're without close I will ask him not to look at and I will cover myself.

I think you should accept he doesn’t want to see you any more. Maybe he just changed his mind about it all. Don’t hang around for him!

Presumably you only know that because you were?!

He could have hidden his profile - that's what I do to stop new matches, or just left his profile hanging...

Unless you have any evidence to the contrary, this guy isn't an arise or a player. He's just someone who decided not to pursue a relationship...something men and women do all the time. Of course, it hurts to be on the receiving end, but it doesn't make him a bad person.

As usual, if there's a man involved, people are always quick and I assume the absolute worst.

Ok, thank you for your advice about self steam. I will work on it. I wasn't like that about my body but even my sister and a friend have told me to fix it. When i was pregnant i had polyhidramios a lot of water in my belly so my mussels never came back together. And i saw a message in Mumsnet about a guy who really like a woman and when he saw her tommy he didn't like that.

Cancel a date http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4842002-cancel-a-date

Is this the same person?
Very similar writing style.

About he being on tinder, sometimes i am very innocent that I thought he just forgot to cancel it and never thought he would be looking at woman while was with me. Some friends from university had told me before to be careful as i am quite innocent. I don't think people can do bad things

No it not me in the other forum

But why to make plans with you in advance when you were not sure. I log back to check if he was in tinder after we started to go out.

Unless it said "recently active", then you have no idea whether he'd left it dormant or not. Even that proves nothing. I don't see why you wouldn't bring it up in conversation to ensure you both knew where you stood rather than letting your suspicions run away with themselves.

Yes, he could well have activity on Tinder, but then equally he may not have been. Based on what you've written, you just don't know...

People change their minds, it's as simple as that. It doesn't have to be anything sinister or deceptive.

Being dumped sucks, and makes you feel like crap, and most, if not all, of us have probably been on both sides of this type of scenario, being the dumped and the dumper (where we behaved similarly to your ex).

Because it feels good, and keeps you interested? At worst it's 'future faking'. See https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2019/09/narcissist-future-faking

But honestly no relationship is likely to be healthy and work out while you have such low self-esteem. And you will be more likely to tolerate men who are not genuine.

This might be helpful: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Low-Self-Esteem-2nd-behavioural/dp/1472119290/ref=cmcrrarpmbbbdcrb_top?ie=UTF8

Thank you for the advices

Having been the dumped one (while we were on a very expensive holiday!)
I know it hurts terribly & it was my first one since being widowed, but you know what 4 months down the line I stopped feeling sorry for myself and got back out there and so far so good. I've found someone who is fully on my wavelength and if anything is too kind to me!!

Thanks, i am having another date next weekend.