A very modern dilemma

[moderndilemma]

NC as per subject title...

My dd and her dp split a couple of years ago, they have dc. Things are tense between them. We remain cordial and friendly with son in law (SIL), but not close.

dd has shared some things about SIL, but I recognise this is one side of a relationship.

I'm facebook friends with SIL, have been for many years. When he posts phots of him and my dgc I 'like' them. I ignore any other posts, don't comment.

Now SIL has a new partner. I know from his fb that they are on holiday together. I don't think dd knows this. I would never tell her.

But... do I disengage from SIL's fb, and how? I think I should. But if I just 'unfriend' him will he think it's because of the new gf and the photos (I'm not really overly bothered that he's in a new relationship). Should I discuss it with him? Am I overthinking it?

You could “umfollow” but remain friends. So you stay connected but don’t get updates when they post.

Unfollow

Maybe just hide him on Facebook so you won't see his posts but he won't be blocked. He's not likely to be offended by your lack of likes and might actually be happier that you've stepped back and he - and you - can move on.

Honestly, just unfriend him. Your priorities lie with your DD

I expect my mom to be all over my exs' Facebook, and to report back every little detail!

(Sorry, I know this might not be the most "correct" response ever)

But I wouldn't hold back from your daughter stuff you have learned about the father of her child. He's entitled to have a new relationship of course. But equally your daughter (the mom of his kids) is entitled to be curious about this (if she is). And he is putting it on social media after all - it's not as if you are hounding him and employing private detectives to uncover the details.....

My mom and I are close enough that I would expect her to share this with me - and I would do the same for her in an equivalent situation.

Ah, so I need to work out how to unfollow, but not unfriend! Another modern dilemma!

• Click on the three dots next to his name.
• Scroll down to the bottom.
• Unfollow.