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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you be annoyed with this?

21 replies

Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 20:32

My husband is out playing darts tonight- he plays for a team once a week.
the kids (3yr and 6yr) wanted to say good night to him so we video called him at about 7pm. No answer. I thought oh he is just playing darts he’ll call back. I messaged him and said kids want to say good night.
15 mins later nothing so we video called again - no answer! That was an hour and a half ago. Kids are now in bed asleep but he hasn’t called back and hasn’t read my WhatsApp message.

would you be annoyed or am I over reacting ?

OP posts:
melissasummerfield · 05/07/2023 20:33

You are over reacting.

SherbertLemons · 05/07/2023 20:34

Maybe he wasn't expecting a call from you so hasn't looked at his phone for a while. Easily done is you are having fun with friends

Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 20:34

melissasummerfield · 05/07/2023 20:33

You are over reacting.

Thank you. X

OP posts:
Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 20:34

SherbertLemons · 05/07/2023 20:34

Maybe he wasn't expecting a call from you so hasn't looked at his phone for a while. Easily done is you are having fun with friends

Thank you x

OP posts:
CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 05/07/2023 20:35

I wouldn’t be calling or texting during darts. Lots of players will have phones on silent so they don’t distract the person throwing. He could be calling etc.

Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 20:43

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 05/07/2023 20:35

I wouldn’t be calling or texting during darts. Lots of players will have phones on silent so they don’t distract the person throwing. He could be calling etc.

Thanks lovely x

OP posts:
Moredramathanrazzamatazz · 05/07/2023 21:15

I think you are overreacting. The kids will be fine not saying goodnight to him while he is out playing darts. Ditto if you did some group another night. IMO constantly being in touch all the time isn't necessarily a good thing it can be very stifling and children need to be a bit more independent and to earlier generations this level of constant contact would seem ridiculous.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/07/2023 21:18

I think you’re over reacting sorry op. The kids could’ve recorded a good night message and WhatsApped it and that’d’ve been lovely for everyone.

Presuming he’s a great dad the other 6 nights and he keys you have a break too, then let the poor bloke play darts.

junebirthdaygirl · 05/07/2023 21:22

If you were out with your friends, involved in a big chat, enjoying yourself would you be delighted to have dh call you to say goodnight..no!! It's not fair to the dc to present it as a possibility as then they may be disappointed. Don't even entertain the thought as he is entitled to his night out without interruption.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2023 21:31

Over reacting. The whole point of a night out is to be free of normal life for a bit. Let him enjoy it.

chocobaby · 05/07/2023 21:35

Totally over reacting. Learn to respect his ‘me time’, he’s entitled to it. It’s just once a week he plays and the kids can say goodnight in person 6 other nights.
i don’t know, but it sounds like you’re suspicious? Otherwise I don’t know why you’d come here to ask if you’re certain he’s playing darts with his team.
like someone else said, the kids could have left a voice memo and he’ll listen after his game.

kermitloving · 05/07/2023 21:38

F

weathervane1 · 05/07/2023 21:48

You're not only over-reacting but you're making a drama that your kids will one day buy into. Too late now but it would have been better to explain that Daddy is out with his friends and his phone has to be off but that he loves you all very much. Sadly, despite him doing nothing wrong, he's now the subject of a MN post inviting criticism. Hopefully he never finds out.

Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 21:51

Thanks all.
No need to be sorry for telling me I’m over reacting. I post on here for honest opinions x

OP posts:
Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 21:51

BitOutOfPractice · 05/07/2023 21:18

I think you’re over reacting sorry op. The kids could’ve recorded a good night message and WhatsApped it and that’d’ve been lovely for everyone.

Presuming he’s a great dad the other 6 nights and he keys you have a break too, then let the poor bloke play darts.

Thank you that’s a great idea about recording a video instead x

OP posts:
Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 21:53

chocobaby · 05/07/2023 21:35

Totally over reacting. Learn to respect his ‘me time’, he’s entitled to it. It’s just once a week he plays and the kids can say goodnight in person 6 other nights.
i don’t know, but it sounds like you’re suspicious? Otherwise I don’t know why you’d come here to ask if you’re certain he’s playing darts with his team.
like someone else said, the kids could have left a voice memo and he’ll listen after his game.

Thank you. No I’m not suspicious at all!

OP posts:
Mumma2Ro · 05/07/2023 21:54

weathervane1 · 05/07/2023 21:48

You're not only over-reacting but you're making a drama that your kids will one day buy into. Too late now but it would have been better to explain that Daddy is out with his friends and his phone has to be off but that he loves you all very much. Sadly, despite him doing nothing wrong, he's now the subject of a MN post inviting criticism. Hopefully he never finds out.

Thank you for your advice

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 05/07/2023 21:55

If you record it you get to keep it and enjoy it whenever you like. The kids probably enjoy it as much as speaking to dad. Dad gets to play darts. You get to unclench and enjoy an evening to yourself. Everyone’s a winner. Apart from darts. I think darts is the loser here. 😂

BCBird · 05/07/2023 21:55

Think you are overreacting

Wishimaywishimight · 06/07/2023 10:34

I would be really annoyed if my partner was video calling me to speak to the kids when I was out doing a team activity.

Surely you can just say "daddy is out tonight, we will have breakfast with him in the morning" or something, they are hardly going to suffer if he is out one night a week.

PaintedEgg · 06/07/2023 10:58

No, I would not be annoyed. I'd explain to kids that dad is busy and won't answer his phone.

However, I would be annoyed if I was on a pre-agreed activity and got painted as a bad guy for not looking at my phone

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