Hand hold please - can't cope with break up and situation

[Sunnyskyy]

Hi everyone,
So last week my partner left me. He actually left me and kicked me out of our home for the first time almost a year ago, and I struggled badly but I managed to find a property to rent and started to rebuild my life. Around Christmas time, he got back in touch and bent over backwards to get me back. Since then, we had been back together and life was amazing once again, I handed my notice in on my house I was renting and moved back in with him.

But I should have known better, because he has done the same thing again - left me out of the blue, kicked me out of the house and blocked me from anywhere I could contact him. I've had to go and stay on a family members sofa who lives 50 miles away from where I lived with my ex (and where my rented house was) and where my job is. For the last week I have been doing a 5 hour round commute via bus and train and spending a fortune to get to work. Last night I have told him how much I love him and please can we work this out, and he responded by telling me he is going to drop all of my belongings off at my work if I don't stop 'messing with his head'.

I really thought we were forever this time, and it has crushed me. I haven't really eaten at all or slept at all for a week, and im struggling to cope or function at all. I walking into work this morning and immediately left crying my eyes out because I just can't work today, and im really not in a fit state of mind to be doing the job that I do. I'm considering calling the gp this morning to see if I can signed off while I try and start to function.

Sorry for the long read, I suppose what I'm asking is how do you get over it when you love someone so much and they made you so happy but they are able to just dispose of you like trash? He says he loves me and he feels bad, but does he really? I just wish this was a bad dream

if he feels bad it’s because he has behaved very badly. I doubt he does feel bad, he’s done it before. Saying he loves you is just cruelly messing with you. If he loved you he wouldn’t have kicked you out knowing what your commute would be until you found yet another new home. Don’t get sucked in by his bullshit a third time.

You're not going to like this but you need to cut all contact with this man OP. No good is going to come of this relationship. I know that it's hard but you need to put yourself first and focus on sorting yourself out. Don't contact him again or try to get back together with him, you deserve far better.

Sorry that was blunt because men like him piss me off. Offering a handhold and hoping the doctor will sign you off so you can regroup so to speak and have a bit of extra time to find a new home. But don’t go back to him, ever

You really need to cut this man off. He has shown you twice now why he is unworthy, untrustworthy, cruel, and quite frankly doesn’t care about you. Why is he saying he loves you if he’s kicking you out? His actions and words don’t match, which generally means lies. It’s going to take a bit of time to get your feet on the ground, you don’t mention kids so I assume you have none with this man, be happy wit that, you can make a clean cut. Be happy you don’t have a mortgage with him, again a clean cut. It’s great that you have a family member you can stay with while you get sorted. Try not to take too much time off of work, why should this man be the reason you can’t get income? I don’t mean to come across as stern, just thinning out loud and speaking from experience. Things will get better and you have to think of the good things you have in life and leave him behind. I’m sure you have lots of examples of him being an asshole through the years that you haven’t written here. Be glad to be rid!

@PinkPotato1 has nailed it. This man doesn’t know the meaning of the word love. Look at what he’s doing, not what he says. He’s now done this twice. You will NEVER be safe with him. Collect your things. Take time to recover. Keep as far away as possible from him. He is utterly toxic.