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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Son's graduation ceremony - abusive ex - how did you do it?

3 replies

SybilWrites · 05/07/2023 07:16

It'll be the first ceremony/ event thing since we divorced a few years ago - but I just don't know how to do this. I'm really proud of my son, who's achieved so much getting a degree (he's ASD). But being around my exH gives me huge anxiety and I generally keep it to a minimum.

So I could just go alone to the ceremony. I don't feel able to take him out for a meal just the 3 of us. (me, him and the ex). It will just be something to get through not a pleasure for any of us. (well there's an advantage of DS being autistic actually because he might be oblivious to it all!). ExH can't help but lecture me and also teasing me, (which is either just meant to be amusing or is abusive depending on which side you sit). So it will be really difficult for me.

I do have a partner, so I could take him. (ExH does too but I don't know whether he's taking her).

What did you do in the same situation? I don't want to spoil it for ds, and I am so proud of him. But the thought of the day with exH is just making me hugely anxious.

OP posts:
Drummend01 · 05/07/2023 09:08

Can’t you and your partner go together and let exH make his own plans? Surely you don’t have to sit together or even speak to him?

Myyearmytime · 05/07/2023 09:18

Your son might only have 2 tickets and he choses he gives them too

ricekrispi · 05/07/2023 09:24

Go with your partner and sit separately - let your DS decide if he wants to go for a meal with his DF or you and your partner afterwards. And say you'll pick him up later/take him out for a celebration later that week etc - don't make him feel conflicted about who he chooses. There's no need for you to spend any time in your ex's company.

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