Separating, no moral support

[somanyworries]

I 100% want to leave my husband, but I am worried about the lack of moral support I have.

My parents warned me not to marry him, they hate him, but they believe once you've made your bed you have to lie in it. Divorce would be the ultimate shame.

They know I am really unhappy, but they change the subject whenever I try to talk about it.

I'm embarrased to confide in friends, I don't know why really.

I feel so alone and trapped. The short version of why I want to leave is that he is an unpleasant bully and we have no sex life.

His sister said to me that she knows he is a nightmare but he 'adores me in his own way', and I would be selfish to hurt him and the kids by insisting on a separation.

You know you shouldn't be embarrassed if they are your friends they should support you. If you want some moral support, you got it.

Seek support from other sources like Women’s Aid or this site. Friends and family can be unhelpful here because they are often over invested.

I would not take any notice of either your parents or his sister here because they have their own agenda and do not have your interests at heart so their opinion should be ignored.

If your parents think that divorce is shameful and or reflects badly on them that is their problem and not yours to own. They are not married to him, you are and you know all too well what he is really like.

Abuse also thrives on secrecy, start by opening up to trusted others. You have actually started that process by writing about this on here. Be brave here and make the break. Your children will also thank you for properly teaching them the only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.