For context, I have ADHD and struggle with commitment (not just in relationships), so I think this is important to note. I’ve been single for more than 5 years, dating on and off but nothing serious. I met a guy about 3 months ago and things have gone quite quickly, more so on his side. I kept pushing him away to begin with but he persisted and broke my very high walls down. I do really like him, but find myself becoming increasingly irritated by him at the same time. I feel mean even thinking or saying that as he’s a stereotypical ‘nice guy’ and I think my fear of commitment is going to ruin things and result in me being alone forever.
He has 2 kids, I have a toddler. Not sure that’s relevant. He texts constantly, sometimes it feels like it’s for the sake of it from his side. He gets upset and phones me if I don’t reply and panics that I’ve gone off him. He wants to see me 24/7, whereas I’m happy with once a week. I treasure my alone time, especially with it being a break from my toddler, and if I spend a whole weekend with him I end up feeling drained and craving my alone time by the end of the weekend. He doesn’t have his own place so spends our time together at mine, which I think amplifies the feeling of him encroaching on my space.
like I said, I feel mean thinking any of this as he’s lovely. We get on like a house on fire when we’re together and it feels like he ‘gets’ me. He helps me out a lot with things in the house, I’ve met his parents and I feel like I should be so happy. But I just don’t have those butterflies and excitement. I don’t want to spend every minute with him. Is this just normal? I feel like I’ve been on my own for so long I don’t even know how to not be alone anymore, and I don’t want that to taint a potentially good relationship. But at the same time, I don’t want to force anything. I just don’t know what to do. I’m early 30s if it makes a difference. Any outsider opinions would be welcomed…