AIBU - meeting up with old friend

[SophieD1987]

My oldest friend is visiting her parents for a week (she no longer lives in the area) and we have arranged to meet up with her 1-year-old and my 5-year-old and her parents after school in a couple of weeks.

I mentioned it to my husband this morning after confirming the details with my friend (also this morning) and he said I should have asked him if he wanted to come and mentioned it to check it was ok first….

Bearing in mind I will be going straight from school pick up to a park for a picnic and my husband hates picnics and he works until 4pm….

Should I have mentioned it before making the plans? We are a one car household so not like he could join us later.

It feels odd and controlling to me for him to say this.

But maybe I am being unreasonable.

What do you guys think?

I think its a little odd of him. I mean its a couple of weeks away, doesn't sound like you have to plan around each other on a daily basis or it interfered with his plans. Its a meet up with your friend and 2 little kids for a picnic in the park after school. And if he hates picnics, why would he even want to come to that?

I mean if you'd said, my old friend is coming over tomorrow night, we're going out to get totally hammered, head to the night club, maybe take a flight to Ibiza and spend a week chilling on the beach drinking cocktails, he may have a point.
But a picnic after school with 2 small kids? Surely most would just say have a nice time?

Really odd and controlling. Needing to ask his permission isn’t ok, and you don’t have to invite him to everything. Wanting to catch up with an old friend without him is fine. He’s being out of order.

Extremely odd to expect to be included in the plans ... I might mention something like 'X is back in the area next week we're meeting up for a picnic' as in just making conversation but my DH wouldn't dream of either wanting to join us or assume I need 'permission'.
Does he not like you going out without him?

Why would he want to come-or you want him to come?

Does it affect him in any way? Yes it seems odd and controlling just on the face of it anyway.

I don't see it as controlling, unless he has previous form. The checking that it's ok with him is a little odd but maybe he just wants to be involved if he also knows your friend? Just say he's welome to come if he can get away from work, and remind him it's a picnic which he doesn't usually enjoy. Then it's up to him.

Does he know it is a female old friend? Does he believe that?

Is DH crushing on your friend?

Sea he's probably not welcome though ... not many old friends would want someone's husband dragging along? I frequently meet up with an old school friend and her DH has no sensitivity that actually we just want to meet without DHs (or kids) he even came with us to a Spa Day! . Obviously I think my friend is mad for putting up with up and it is beginning to affect our friendship ... I just can't be bothered to meet up.

Mmm, the only way this would be a reasonable thing for him to ask is if he's also friends with this person? Otherwise, it's very odd and very controlling and is either the tip of the iceberg and you just haven't noticed that he's like this a lot (does he have issues with you going out with, for example, a group of mums from the school run? Or insist that you call if you're going to be10 minutes late after school run?). OR... there's something specific about this friend he has an issue with.

Presumably you've been together a long time. As a one off I would think it a little off but not controlling, only you know if he is being so.