My partner proposed to me several months ago after being together for 5.5 years. However, since the proposal his whole attitude towards me has changed. It feels like he's constantly putting me down and making snide remarks towards me. He had been really irritable and has a short fuse. When he's angry he talks at me through gritted teeth.
On our recent holiday, he caused an argument on day one with his snide remarks, which left me in tears and feeling pretty vulnerable abroad. He is so distant and cold with me too. He withholds affection. When I ask him about it, he denies being cold towards me and will refuse to talk about our issues, often changing the subject and really acting like nothings happened. The other day he even picked up his phone and started scrolling social media whilst I was trying to have an open, honest conversation with him. I said this whole thing was making me unhappy and he replied with "what do you want me to do about it?".
I've vaguely confided in a friend but have downplayed things as I don't want anyone to think badly of him and tbh, I'm probably scared they'll confirm my fears. My friend has asked if he could be playing away but until now I honestly felt really confident that he was not the sort of guy to cheat.
However, we are in bed gone midnight ready to sleep for work the next day. His phone buzzes and when he checks, there's some span mail and he reads out the name of the company and says "why am I getting notifications from them this time of night". I'm laying right next to him and notice a message from a female I've never heard of - he does not comment on this notification so late in the night though. It felt almost as if he drew attention to the spam mail to say "oh that's all that message tone was, nothing important". I don't know, just something feels off.
I've been concerned for a few weeks now that all the red flags are pointing to narcissism and possibly borderline abusive tendencies (such as gaslighting) but without concrete evidence to stare me in the face, I'm worrying it's all in my head. Now I have this concern on top that he could be a cheat. I have never in our entire relationship accused him of cheating or thought that he has so this is new territory for me and I am so confused if I should confront him.
I could really do with other people's thoughts on this and to hear if you've shared similar experiences.
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.