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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My ex was going to hit me

6 replies

abracadabra99 · 02/07/2023 20:14

I have a nearly 12 month old DD with my ex. He left when I was pregnant and since DD has been born, he's been really inconsistent, only sees her once for a few hours every week (or every other week), pays no maintenance and is generally just useless. As a result of this, DD has virtually no relationship with him.

He came over today and DD cried every time he held her (this happens every time). He then launched into his usual monologue about how it's all my fault that DD "doesn't like" him, I've spoiled her and I've said bad things about him to her to make her not like him. I'm sick of hearing this nonsense over and over again so I told him to shut up.

He had a large bottle in his hand which he raised up in the air as if he was about to hit me with it, but then for whatever reason stopped himself. I was holding DD at the time. I told him to leave, which he did, and threw the bottle at my door.

I don't want this man anywhere near me or my child. I know he didn't actually hit me, but it was clear that he wanted to and I know there's a chance he would actually hit me if he got angry again.

Can anyone advise of any next steps. Feeling really emotional and unsure what to do.

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 02/07/2023 20:17

I'm sure more informed people will be along soon, but could you move away and not leave a forwarding address?

Springbecamethesummer · 02/07/2023 20:18

I would report him to the police for threatening behaviour and get a restraining order.
Neither you or your daughter need this kind of toxic behaviour.

TitaniumTess · 02/07/2023 20:35

Find a local domestic abuse charity. Log the behaviour. Also talk to Women's Aid.

Call 101 or find it online. Make sure that this is logged with the police.

Keep a record of the behaviour.

Please stay safe. Xxxx

EarthSight · 02/07/2023 22:20

He's a thug, and I think it's only a matter of time before he escalates.

Contact the police and Women's Aid.

Pinkbonbon · 02/07/2023 22:46

Just a heads up - he didn't want to hit you because he was angry. He wanted to hit you because he is abusive. It was a threat meant to scare and intimidate you. It wasn't a loss of control, it was a calous and deliberate act TO control you.

I would speak to the police so it's on record. See about a restraining order.

You never have to let him into your home again. Make sure if he ever had a key to change the locks.

Northernsouloldies · 02/07/2023 23:15

How do you turn a one Yr old against someone???. He's nuts. Hopefully he loses any interest at all or get police intervention so you can have a peaceful life.

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