Struggling dealing with ex ending it by text

[Username620]

Me 48, him 45. Together 21 months. A lot of back story that I won’t go into.
I‘m just struggling with him ending it by text. He says it was so I could translate what he sent (he doesn’t speak English).
i haven’t seen him for almost 2 months now but I am struggling so much. It makes the hurt last longer.
He did write to me 2 weeks ago as he hasn’t finished my garden - he was being paid for it as it is his job, but nothing since.
i miss him and I am trying to get on with my life but it’s always there in the back of my head - also how things were just before it ended - it was a bit of a shock.
I live in a country where I don’t know many people. DC lives in another city and is busy with studies.
I just don’t know how to stop everything in my head. I‘m also recovering from serious illness that saw me in hospital for 3 weeks. That was also mean of him to end it one week after I came out of hospital - and when I was out of hospital he was all over me - couldn’t have enough of me.

I'm sorry you are going through so much but he didn't care enough for you and you deserve better. I bet his English was good enough to woo you face to face.

The hurt will fade. Keep as busy as you can while recuperating, even just keeping your mind busy

No. He doesn’t speak any English at all. I had basic knowledge of his language and learnt more.

That was also mean of him to end it one week after I came out of hospital

Really? Would you have preferred he pretended?

Tbh, to end it then, he was quite likely to have been putting on a show for you while you were in hospital too. When would you have wanted him to end it? How long would you have liked him to keep up the pretence? It would have been a shock whenever it happened.

How would you have wanted him to end it? How would you have reacted/reaponded if he'd done it face to face?

People often judge the timings and method of break up on the nature of the relationship and communication within the relationship in general.

If there's a lot of back story, chances are that means the relationship wasn't plain sailing anyway.

He was happy enough to more or less rip my clothes off and shag me on the sofa when i came out of hospital. So he‘s awfully good at pretence.

Sex is sex. People can feel horny without wanting a relationship with someone.

I know it sounds harsh but you need to find a way of distracting yourself from these thoughts so that you can move on from it.

Because, either way, he has ended it. So whether it had been a long time coming or a complete 180 turn around is largely irrelevant.

Write a letter telling him exactly what you think of him and burn it.

Go out get drunk and dance all night.

Spend the day baking cakes.

Or whatever, but ruminating and questioning it isn't going to make you feel any better.

Yake decisive action - decide he's not having any more of your headspace; do something to draw a line under it and move on.

Well, it sounds all kinds of horrible. Sorry chi used you, but really, he doesn’t sound much of a loss, no?

One day you will be grateful for this. He sounds like a cock and a user.