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Original poster

Regret or just loneliness?

6 replies

sunpisces · 02/07/2023 09:35

Split from my DH 4 weeks ago now, last night was his first time taking our DS overnight. I thought I was coping well and I went out for the day but coming home last night to an empty house is among the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced.

This is the first I have questioned if I am doing the right thing. Has anyone else felt like this before? Is it just loneliness?

OP posts:

Chatillon · 02/07/2023 09:43

Only you will work it out. For me, many years ago moving into a cold, windswept cottage in January with no bare furniture, no TV and only a small radio, it felt like regret. After a few times I realised it was just loneliness. Its like sitting on a rock on the beach. You can see the dark skies moving in, the waves getting choppier and you know you are going to get wet. But you also know it will pass over eventually and the blue sky and sun will return. It is only time. When you have done a few of these, you will relish the time on your own while also the countdown to their evening return.

Chatillon · 04/07/2023 20:52

How are you today @sunpisces ?

I hope your room is filled with chatter and noise. It will become more so, give it time.

Original poster

sunpisces · 04/07/2023 20:53

Thank you so much for your beautiful analogy @Chatillon it really gave me perspective. Feeling good now my baby is home, it may not get easier but I will learn to cope. Like all things, time is the greatest healer!

OP posts:

Chatillon · 04/07/2023 21:04

Good to hear from you. I can assure you it will and should get easier. These are the early times, so that does take some getting used to, but you will. A routine is helpful. You need to start thinking about Christmases and summer holidays also, these will happen eventually and the key is to focus on your child's needs as they grow.

loveacuddle1 · 05/07/2023 06:56

I felt exactly like this the first time my kids stayed with their dad. Coming home from work to an empty house was horrible.
I’m now 6 months on and more used to it. Obviously I miss them when they’re not here but I try and go for a run, or find something to watch in tv that o wouldn’t be able to if they were here, or read a book etc

Chatillon · 16/07/2023 19:22

@sunpisces How is it going?

Is it getting easier? The light at the end of the tunnel is you getting a bit of you time and perspective.

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