I’m feeling a bit naive. I met a friend for lunch today. We got married around the same time and have been with our respective partners 15 or so years. My relationship isn’t perfect. More like housemates. I kind of think we would have split up if not for the kids but the financial side of things ties us to one another; we once looked at what splitting up would look like and we couldn’t see anyway that we could do this and live anything other than a miserable existence in a tiny flat or something. So we make do and that’s fine and I just accept it. I know friend has similar at home so assumed we would have a moan and that’s that.
she looked sheepish and confessed that, for quite some time, she’s been having an affair. Started with a work colleague a year or so ago and, by her account, he’s also in the same boat with his own relationship. They are managing it by going on ‘work trips’ every few months and then popping to each others house whilst the other partner is at work. When they are both in the office they ‘date’; go for dinner but then go home separately. No one suspects. They just do their thing. Her view is that her relationship is dead and, but for money and kids, they would both move on. She says that her and her husband have discussed this and both agree they are stuck for the foreseeable. He doesn’t know but essentially turns a blind eye if he suspects.
now, whilst I hadn’t actually contemplated this as an option, (!!) I do wonder how long this sort of thing can carry on? She thinks she would just tell him of it came to it and nothing would change at home because it financially can’t. She also thinks many people have these secret arrangements, but surely not?
not sure what I’m looking for from this post. Just feel a bit overwhelmed by how normal she made it sound!