To be a bit irritated by Dh

[BaiesRosesAmbre]

Dh is a lovely guy. Please no ‘LTB’. I am posting this to gage whether being a bit uptight or I have some grounds to be annoyed.

Dh bday was 2 weeks ago. We did a holiday with lots of other couples to celebrate (it’s a big bday) and between us spent thousands to make it special.

today, he planned a celebration with the people that couldn’t make the holiday. Just a day of drinking in pubs and bars really.

I have had a headache for the last few days - nothing has shifted it. I also get very anxious about social situations sometimes, and I think I was a little anxious about today’s plans. The headache got worse and worse and ended up being a full blown pounding headache, verging on migraine. I felt awful.

DH seemed pretty annoyed that I was feeling ill and kept saying ‘I know you can’t help it, but this is shit timing’. Like I didn’t know that! I barely had the energy to speak back to him.

the last few days have been crazy for me at work, I’ve had a lot of catching up to do since we got back from holiday. And also I’ve been doing most of the household chores because Dh has been working incredibly long hours. I think we’re both just a bit tired and ratty.

anyway - I couldn’t go out with him. I physically couldn’t get out of bed otherwise I would hve thrown up. I just got out of bed now and found the house in a state. He’s not tidied anything away.

just feel really annoyed! Am I being silly??

What sort of man has another celebration of his birthday two weeks afterwards, he’s not the King (although he seems to be acting like one here). He is coming across really badly here and he’s acting like a selfish man child who is putting a belated birthday celebration before you as his wife who is not well. I am not surprised the house is a mess, he likely regards all the housework and life admin as your role because he goes out to work. Compared to you he is getting a far better deal here.

Why did you write please no LTB?. Is he usually this bloody thoughtless and uncaring because if he is you should consider whether you want to remain with him or not?.

Why would you also think you are being silly?. The answer to that question is no and yes you have every right to be annoyed.

Your main priority now is you and your children. Leave the house as it is. He’s going to have to tidy up.

Oh I see the 'birthdays are only for children' people are out early doors here.

I think it is completely fine and normal for adults to want to celebrate milestone birthdays. And I think it is completely fine and normal for there to be more than one celebration. I can understand why your DH was disappointed you were too ill come out today. I'm sure if it had been the other way around, you'd have been disappointed too.

It was shitty of him to leave the house in a big mess though.

Go back to bed. He can do the clearing up when he gets home

It's nice that he wanted you to celebrate with him but he said it in an insensitive way. He's allowed to be annoyed that you couldn't come.

The cleaning thing I personally wouldn't get worked up about unless you think he did it intentionally to annoy you or get back at you.

I think men (and women) are very selfish sometimes.

My husband used to get upset when he couldn't go to football matches.

He is better now but still sometimes gets like that.

Oh nothing worse than being ill when you want to go out. I remember one time pushing through a bad stomach and headache and spending the whole meal in the toilet vomiting, ended up going home half way through the night, friends weren't impressed but sometimes we have to give in and stay in bed, thankfully dh was understanding and came home with me even though I told him to stay out. When your ill no one really understands, especially if it affects their night. Get yourself back to bed, a migraine is the work of the devil.