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Original poster

I need some perspective please

9 replies

Mumma2Ro · 01/07/2023 06:59

As I’m struggling to see any other point but my own……
so cut a long story short, my husband wants to leave his current job.

he had a well paid job in security distribution (don’t ask me any questions on that as I’ve never really got it 😆)

he gets quarterly bonus’ of around £3k which we really on for our summer holidays, Christmas, little jobs on the house etc. he also gets a company car which is paid for including insurance, MOT, half his petrol etc.

about a month ago he had a bad argument with one of the big bosses at work and he feels his reputation is ruined and his career goals of reaching the top have now been affected.
so he wants out. He has been offering another job- same basic pay but no bonus’ and no company car.

we don’t have money just sitting in the bank for him to buy another car, and it’s another big monthly financial pay out. I’m also concerned how we will afford Christmas (2 young kids) and summer holidays etc without his bonus. We’ve recently in November moved home with a massively mortgage and the house needs so much doing to it. Which again we won’t be able to afford to do it he leaves his current job.

I just need some perspective please and some advice as I’m really struggling to see beyond those financial points. I know he needs to be happy etc but at this day in age we also have to be realistic with the cost of everything currently!

Please no nasty comments.

thank you xx

OP posts:
Wheresmyguavagone · 01/07/2023 07:11

Do you work OP?

whatchagonnado · 01/07/2023 07:18

It would be a good idea for him to try and make it up with the person he had an argument with and in the meantime look for another job with an equivalent salary and extras

Original poster
Mumma2Ro · 01/07/2023 07:26

Wheresmyguavagone · 01/07/2023 07:11

Do you work OP?

Yes I work and earn a decent wage too x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumma2Ro · 01/07/2023 07:27

whatchagonnado · 01/07/2023 07:18

It would be a good idea for him to try and make it up with the person he had an argument with and in the meantime look for another job with an equivalent salary and extras

yes I agree, thank you x

OP posts:
Callyem · 01/07/2023 07:47

If he HAS burned his bridges then a change will allow for that progression again, which presumably would eventually outweigh the bonuses, as well as provide job satisfaction again.

Having been unhappy in jobs that paid more and made a change, I am a big believer in reducing outgoings for the sake of happiness in the workplace. Stuff is just that... stuff. Would you rather he were miserable but have holidays? Because the knock on impact of that may not be so desirable.

ZekeZeke · 01/07/2023 08:13

Callyem · 01/07/2023 07:47

If he HAS burned his bridges then a change will allow for that progression again, which presumably would eventually outweigh the bonuses, as well as provide job satisfaction again.

Having been unhappy in jobs that paid more and made a change, I am a big believer in reducing outgoings for the sake of happiness in the workplace. Stuff is just that... stuff. Would you rather he were miserable but have holidays? Because the knock on impact of that may not be so desirable.

Agree with this.
Also, you don't need Summer Holidays plural and 2 kids at Christmas doesn't need to cost a fortune.
Don't rely on bonuses and save for that rainy day.

Pastryapronsucks · 01/07/2023 08:23

As someone who is very unhappy at work at the moment I am leaning to your husbands side. Holidays are not a necessity, especially not 3k holidays. Get a cheap runabout car, we recently moved away from new car/ppc and bought a second hand Kia outright. Have a rethink on Christmas, spending, I don't think we do children any favours by spending lots.

Hope you come to a reasonable compromise.

DragonDoor · 01/07/2023 08:25

It’s only been a month, so things might calm down a bit in his workplace, on the other hand it may not work out.

Apart from this current job offer, what are your husband’s employment prospects like in general? Is it likely other roles could come up?

Could a compromise be that he waits for his next quarterly bonus before handing in his notice? Do you both tend to be able to discuss things like this and weigh up the pros and cons of situations together?

I’d prioritise well-being over material things in the long term.

Some of the the 12k yearly bonus he used to receive could have been put in savings and provided a bit of a buffer if either of you were ever out of work. No one wants to feel trapped in a job they hate.

WhatADrabCarpet · 01/07/2023 09:18

Part of your problem is that you have come to rely on this quarterly bonus and so you have cut your cloth accordingly.

It may well be that your husband can progress further in his new job and, thus, earn more money.

Cheap or even no holidays might be the way forward , in the mean time and have a more realistically priced Christmas.

A cheap , second hand , runaround car will keep you going until better days come.

As to your home renovations, they'll have to wait a while.

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