Do I forgive and forget?

[M38]

My husband has been messaging escorts for years, we have a toddler. The same escort messages him asking of he's free etc. Condoms are going missing, he has sent nude pics. I've questioned it before and he just turns it on me saying he's fed up of my accusations etc. I'm still here due to not wanting to me alone and also don't want to break up a family

He's not going to change. I wouldn't be able to live with that. Surely you and your child deserve so much better.

Dump him.

It won't ever change. It's far, far worse for your kids to stay in this relationship. They will grow up thinking it's normal to be in an unhappy relationship.

He's seeing escorts and he's not sorry.

A one off can be forgiven, but this looks like a pattern and is likely to continue, can you
live with that?

You must feel awful. I hope you're ok.

Those are no reasons to stay with him.

You are alone really within this so called marriage now. Remaining with him will further destroy you from the inside outwards.

Your so called husband will continue to cheat on you repeatedly. I sincerely hope you’re not sleeping with him. He sees you as merely someone to cook and clean for him. He is also no decent example of a role model to your child.

You haven’t broken up this family, he has by his repeated use of escorts. Better to be from a so called broken home too than to remain in one. How can you be helped into rebuilding your life without him in it day to day?. Have you got support from family and or friends?.

No. Plan and prepare to get out.

What family would you be breaking up exactly? I wouldn't use the word "family" to describe any relationship that contains this much disrespect, both of you and of the women whose bodies he's purchasing to stick his pathetic little penis in.

He’s the one breaking up the family with his shitty actions, not you.
Being single is a million times better than being in a loveless relationship.

Have some pride in yourself and your child.
This is disgusting behaviour and he won't change, he has no respect for the pair if you so your only option is to put up with it or leave, what do YOU really want to do ?

He's fed up of you accusing him of being a lying, cheating shit who uses prostitutes? Well, the obvious answer to that would be for him to stop doing it, but he isn't going to, is he?

Now you say you don't want to break up a family, but there is no family is there? What family? He is treating you with utter comtempt and total disrepect, and you would be far, far better off without this despicable creature in your and your dc's lives.

Believe me, staying with him is far worse than being alone with dc. He is never going to change. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who treats you like shit on his shoe?

Are you happy to remain in a relationship where your husband is having sex with someone else? Is everything else ok other than that? Ultimately you're either happy to accept it or you're not. Some people wouldn't be too bothered. Others couldn't stand it.

Don't stay if you can't accept it xx

I'm still here due to not wanting to me alone and also don't want to break up a family

So you'd rather bring up a child with a father who treats his wife with complete contempt, uses trafficked women and then blames you for it. And that's better how than kicking him out, exactly?

And as a poster said, what family will you be breaking up?

There's nothing wrong with being alone. It's a hell of a lot better than what you've got now.

Get a sti test.

How can you even look at him yet alone question staying with him. Get some self respect, know your worth and get rid of him. Even if you forgive you will never forget and he will do it again and again because you have let him.

Well, if you 'don't want to be alone' and 'don't want to break up a family' then I guess you'll have to 'forgive and forget', won't you?

OR you can get a healthy dose of self-respect and realize that there is peace and happiness in being on your own when the alternative is being miserable with a cheater who has no respect for you, and that you can damage children more by staying than by leaving.

Why would you even consider forgiving him when he won't even own up to what he's done and doesn't seem remotely sorry? You wouldn't be actually forgiving and forgetting, would you? You'd be sweeping it under the carpet and agreeing to pretend it didn't happen, so that you don't have to make the decision to leave him. He's a cheating, lying scumbag, OP. You deserve better.

He doesn't respect you. Raise your bar and get out. You can be much happier without him.

He won’t change.

Would you really want to wake up when you’re in your 60’s and feel devastated that you gave your life to a lying cheat?

Or maybe you could imagine waking up one day in your 60’s, absolutely grateful that in your younger days you had the bravery to leave someone who treated you and your marriage with contempt.

I can guarantee that if you left, it wouldn’t take very long until you look back on your marriage, bewildered that you ever saw anything in such a horrid man