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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I hate him

26 replies

kittyca · 30/06/2023 12:46

I dont actually know if i do hate him... But if i dont rant somewhere im gonna let it out at him.

He is a self centred self righteous arsehole with a supiority complex who only cares what others can do for him or what he can get in return for doong for others.

He makes me sick. But if i say anyrhing somehow he becomes the victim.

Sex is a big issue. He wants it all the time. But he turns my stomach. I can feel the bile in my throat.

He has no onterest in the kids literally, only that he appears superdad to the outside world and beong bettwr than his ex wife.

He thinks he is gods gift and anyone wpuld be extremely lucky to have him. but hes the most insecure man i have ever known amd if he senses hes being threatenwd or rejected well he points out all my faults, tears me to ahreds about my past and accuses me of cheating and fancing younger men.

He gropes me all bloody night. When i am dping literally anything arpund the house. Doeant notice that i have zero sex drive and fake every orgasm, something i have stopped doing.

It wasnt always like this.... Only since i moved in with him.

OP posts:
ThatshallotBaby · 30/06/2023 12:47

Sounds awful. What’s keeping you there?

Burnamer · 30/06/2023 12:48

Why are you still there?

xfan · 30/06/2023 12:52

Why are you subjecting yourself to this? Are you afraid of being single? Work on your self esteem and boundaries, it doesn't sound like you have a solid idea if what is acceptable and what not in a relationship.

kittyca · 30/06/2023 12:55

Honeslty. I have no idea. Tbh everytime we rowi go into panic mode. Then a while after i come round realise hes a prick and im better off without him but by that stage hes behaving himself.

OP posts:
Fannieannie63 · 30/06/2023 13:22

In the nicest possible way…. You owe him nothing.

Kikicoconut · 30/06/2023 13:44

You need to leave. No redeeming qualities in this man.

Notmineagain · 30/06/2023 13:56

No one can help you , except you. You are choosing your situation and only you can change it.

BreviloquentBastard · 30/06/2023 13:58

You have children of your own? Try and imagine some day in the future one of your children comes to you and speaks to you about their partner the way you've just spoken about yours. Would you be happy for them to be in that relationship?

KatherineSwynford1403 · 30/06/2023 13:58

Are these your kids or his from the previous marriage?

kittyca · 30/06/2023 14:07

He has kids and i have kids. My kids thiink he is amazing unfortunately

OP posts:
CoconutQueen · 30/06/2023 14:07

Good grief; why are you still there???!!?!!

CurlyQueues · 30/06/2023 14:11

Then a while after i come round realise hes a prick and im better off without him but by that stage hes behaving himself.

Classic abusive behavour, along with the rest. It's those behaving himself times that keep you there, keep you hoping that the bad times are over, that he's changed. He hasn't and he won't. He'll more than likely escalate.

Don't feel you need to wait for the next event to make you leave, it'll be more powerful for the both of you if you do it when things are calm but please do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe and don't tell him you're leaving until you have gone.

Flowers
Hibiscrubbed · 30/06/2023 14:35

He’s turned my stomach. Utterly revolting man.

Move back out. What is your financial position like?

Nat6999 · 30/06/2023 14:48

Is it your house, his or joint? If it is yours, kick him out, otherwise, start looking for somewhere else, the kids think he is great because they don't see how he is treating you. Don't stay for their sake.

bonzaitree · 30/06/2023 14:49

Can you leave OP? Sounds like sexual abuse why not speak to womens aid?

momtoboys · 30/06/2023 14:55

This is on you now. After typing all of that out and reading it if you stay it becomes a you problem.

MissingMoominMamma · 30/06/2023 14:59

Fuck me, if you hadn’t said that you had kids of your own, I would’ve thought this was my friend’s partner.

Get shut: your kids will get over it.

SpringleDingle · 30/06/2023 15:01

Run!!!

cocksstrideintheevening · 30/06/2023 15:14

Why are
You still there?

massiveclamps · 30/06/2023 15:19

Never mind what your kids think.

He is a sex pest and unpleasant with it. You absolutely have to end this relationship before he destroys you.

KatherineSwynford1403 · 30/06/2023 15:31

kittyca · 30/06/2023 14:07

He has kids and i have kids. My kids thiink he is amazing unfortunately

So none of the children are yours and his? In that case please get gone. This is soul destroying.

PickAChew · 30/06/2023 15:42

You need to move out again.

Seebit · 30/06/2023 15:54

It doesn’t matter what your kids think of him, you are the adult, you decide. He sounds an absolute nightmare.

MamaNell · 30/06/2023 23:41

Alison is that you?

Whether it is or not, gather yourself and get out. The kids will understand

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/06/2023 23:46

Just leave this disgusting specimen
Your DC will soon realise he's not as amazing as they thought
They don't see what you see yet

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