What do you expect from your partner in a relationship?

[lavenderandlemon]

I've only ever had shitty/abusive relationships previously, up until now when I have got a decent partner at last! The trouble is, I have no idea of what is normal or reasonable in a good relationship. He's obviously not perfect, because no one is, and we have some small disagreements, which I think is normal? But I often find myself questioning if my expectations are too high or too low, or if I'm just used to the abusive cycle and don't know if things are okay when they're just maybe...normal?

So, for those of you in good relationships, what are the things that are normal to expect from your relationship and your partner? I know everyone is different but it would be good to hear about "normal" relationships!

fantasist even

Support, little gestures of kindness and care , shared work in running our house and family, conversations, bit of Romance, plenty of sex, laughter, bit of adventure and shared goals for the future.
I didn't get that in my first marriage. I feel infinitely lucky that I have it in my second.

I just asked. "I like having a nice time" he said.

Thanks all for the replies - I've been snowed under at work so have been reading but not commenting.

These sound like an absolute dream! I suppose I struggle to believe that these things are normal to expect from a relationship, and it's normal for them to continue always. My ex was doing the ultimate good husband act (by his own admission) at the beginning and then all the things I thought were part of a good relationship became stupid unreasonable expectations/boundaries that no other woman had (according to him).

Trust
Loyalty
Morality
Kindness
Shared values (politics, God, etc)
Humour
Generosity of spirit

Tidiness
Cleanliness
Independence
Work ethic
Intellect
Inquiring mind
No shouting

No addictions: alcohol, drugs, women, gambling, computer

I put up with a man who is finicky (possibly a bit ocd), doesn't always consult, is a workaholic, doesn't do domestic (but was honest at the beginning and pays for far more than his share), and is completely impractical, for example, cannot pack the car boot or put together a flat pack, because of all the above. Also because he brings me tea in bed and tells me he loves me.befkre he falls.asleep and again when he wakes up.

Together 35 years.

This.

@lavenderandlemon - have a book at this book: Women Who Love Too Much, by Dr Robin Norwood. It's a classic. And much, much better than the title suggests. It'll give you a good understanding of the types of behaviour that no one should put up with.

@HabberdasheryAddict thanks for the recommendation, just picked it up for the kindle!

I feel safe and enjoy his company
he is very emotionally supportive and calm
he is a great caring father (that’s very attractive to me)
we have lots in common

in the early days and with young children I found it hard and I have boundaries eg I will take time for myself, don’t do everything around the house so some weekends he realises he needs to (but he is a keeper)

Regarding a relationship, the most important thing is mutual respect and understanding. I expect my partner to be supportive, someone I can count on through the ups and downs. Honesty is a big one, too – I want to feel like I can trust them and be open without holding back. Good communication makes everything work smoothly. I’d also love someone who shares some of my interests but is comfortable being themselves and doing their own thing. Balance is critical. It would help if you had that mix of shared experiences and individuality to keep things interesting. Here’s an excellent article about best personality pairings that could give you more insights if you're curious. But at the end of the day, it's all about being with someone who makes you feel happy and supported.