The tread was about toxic sister and mum. I dont know how to link it.
I have a fantastic therapist who has shun light on my dysfunctional family and patterns, and what it means for me within the family unit.
After living abroad for many years I have come to realise its changed me. I have wondered that perhaps this is my issue. I have come back home after so many years abroad, and see my family dynamic with sadness, and see them for who they truly are, not what I hoped they would be. It always surprises me to witness them in their acts, I was always hoping I was wrong somehow, misunderstood or read too much into the situations when they arise, which is too often. That perhaps I am arrogant for wanting to have a family that was not emotionally abusive. Its funny how no one can see this as well.
I feel horrible for restricting contact with them, but I know its the only option.
My parents go back home on Tuesday as they have been here for a month today, and I want to scream. I feel so suffocated by them and feel horrible for feeling this way. I feel horrible now as once they have gone I will go gray rock and not initiate contact. I have already cut contact with my only DS.
DP are in their 70's and are so out of touch with the world. Maybe this is normal? I want to love my DM and DS, and I do, but in all honesty I really do not like their ethos or morals, I really do not like them. I would never dare say this to their face though and have never spoken to them about it.
If anyone has been in similar position, how did you manage life without them?
Did you life improve?
Did you ever wonder if this was a terrible mistake to cut them out?
Rather than have a loving family I have never known anything but bullying, coercive control, emotional, sexual abuse, and neglect as a child into adulthood, and I am finding it so hard to forgive. This neglect from both parents, abuse form sibling.
Is there perhaps a book I can read up on how to understand this sort of family better?
Or do I walk away and end up on my own?