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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice - new guy I’ve ended up “seeing”

7 replies

Notthatintohim · 27/06/2023 22:42

I’m single, have been for a while but I do dabble with OLD.
went on a date with a guy about 6 weeks ago. Had a lovely time, he’s a nice guy. Took him back to mine and we slept together. Both of us were drunk, I wanted to and didn’t feel like I had to.
A week later, I just started to get the ick. I didn’t think I really found him attractive. He was just too much, lots of texting, sent me a gift. I had to tell him I just wanted to be friends, it was too much too soon.
so we kept talking and kind of fell back into naughty texts. I thought I was perhaps too hasty. Then he came round last weekend and we ended up sleeping together. Kept speaking but again, I feel like it’s too much. He referred to me as his Girlfriend. The ick is back.
Now I feel bad that I’ll have to have another “let’s be friends” chat. And I feel like I’ve led him on. I thought I wanted a relationship, but maybe I don’t, or maybe he isn’t the right guy. And I don’t think I’m actually attracted to him. We share a hobby, and I enjoy doing it with him, but I think that’s it really! I also stupidly agreed to go and visit him soon as he’s working away and the thought fills me with dread! Any advice on how to gently let him down? I realise I shouldn’t have hooked up with him again, but my friends were all “oh he’s a nice guy, give him a chance” and I just got swept up in it all!

OP posts:
Fishpieandchips · 27/06/2023 23:10

Sounds too intense. I'd cool the replies
But why did you say you'd visit him? Just say you don't think it will work as not compatible

YouTarzan · 28/06/2023 01:09

Just end it. Too messy to be friends. Wish him well, and say goodbye.

bobblyjob · 28/06/2023 01:12

But you don’t want to be friends. Don’t lie. Just say you are not feeling the same as him, thanks for the fun and goodbye. Saying you want to be friends gives him the wrong impression

cassiatwenty · 28/06/2023 01:22

It'd be foolish to be so nice to be on a relationship bc of peer pressure. Say you enjoyed your time together and bid him goodbye

Allmyghosts · 28/06/2023 02:24

You are a head fuck for him, if he's a nice sincere guy. If not he will just meh and move on.

Allmyghosts · 28/06/2023 02:25

Sort yourself out though and stop playing with people for fun.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/06/2023 02:32

The only problem here is you. Be an actual grown-up and end this thing respectfully. Tell him you will no longer be seeing him but you wish him well. It's not hard.

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