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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i am cclearly my Mum's favourite and I hate it.

5 replies

cruisemum1 · 23/02/2008 10:11

I have one brother and one sister both older than me. we are all in our 40's. I do a lot for my Mum and my Dad is terminally ill. I live a distance away. My brother lives about 30mins drive away from them and does his bit - takes her out, visits Dad, does paperwork etc. for her. My sister is a lazy cow who lives the nearest but cannot be arsed - even though she shows caring at times and will help if asked. My mum regularly maons about my brother (he has an 'assertive' wife) and I hate it. Ilove my brotehr dearly and he really does try. My dad was never very nice to him as a child but he is lovely. What to do??????

OP posts:
cornsilk · 23/02/2008 10:29

Tell her that you think she's unfair to moan about him?

JossStick · 23/02/2008 10:33

Shame her by asking her what she says about you to him (i'm not suggesting she does this but it might get her thinking).

cornsilk · 23/02/2008 10:34

Does she moan about your sister as well?

Original poster
cruisemum1 · 23/02/2008 10:43

she does mona about my sister as well but that is quite justified as my sister offers least in teh way of support. When I go to visit my family with my two lo's (a 2hr journey) she doesn't even bother to makethe 15 min walk from her house to their house . She is godmother to my ds but rarely bothers to call to ask how he is. My dd is mostly ignored too so I can kind of see where my Ma is coming from on that one. Thing is, it is hard to listen to about my brother as he really does make the effort. She does say positive things about him too but only after a negative outburst. She has said that I am her lifeline etc. which is lovely but I feel guilyt about it as my brotehr is there for her too.

OP posts:
Weegle · 23/02/2008 12:41

I have a similar thing except who is favourite can change. My sister and I have a pact. If the other one is being negatively spoken about to the other we say "I'm really not interested in talking negatively about my sister". If she tries to carry on, we just walk away. We've each only had to do this a few times and now she wouldn't dare put either of us down to the other as we take the wind out of her sails and give her no where to go with it.

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