Spent a large chunk of my adult life (14 years) with a man in the music industry, until I fairly recently found out he had been cheating and renting air bnbs with another women while away on tour on his days off. They were sneaking about going out for dinner. He apparently told her he was in an open relationship. Since I found out I have been pretty much stonewalled, with the odd bit of blame thrown in aimed at me.
We have two young children and while he was doing whatever the hell he wanted, sleeping around, drinking excessively and I have no doubt drugs involved. I was at home holding the fort dealing with children’s sickness and the daily slog of life.
He has now decided to announce he is in a relationship with other women. She lives in the states us in the uk. He has also decided to be honest and told me he has slept with multiple other women since I was pregnant with our first child. I feel sick I had no idea.
He would always spend months of the year away touring with big artists and then come home in short bursts. It was always a massive adjustment and it was a lonely life.
I feel like such a complete fool. All those years wasted waiting around. He made constant promises we was in this together and I so stupidly believed him. I will never understand why he had children. Barely sees them and work is absolutely his priority. Already he has missed the majority of their lives. The youngest is at nursery still.
we was not married and although I am currently payed a salary from our company I feel financially vulnerable. He doesn’t wish for me to have a claim on the house. Says it’s his and I haven’t worked towards it. I’ve basically been written off like my whole life was a lie.
we started trying mediation but have been told we need family therapy before we can continue. Ex partner is “ far too busy” and “important” to factor this in apparently. so everything involves months of waiting.
im so fed up. From an outside perspective can anyone give me advice on what I can do to be proactive in moving things forward so I can try to move on. Living in a horrible state of limbo and barely sleeping through the trauma and stress of it all.