I have two friends, will call them A and B. We are all similar age (40) and mums. They have always been closer than me, but included me in their friendship and wider mum’s group. They’ve been closer because I have a job which requires me to be out of town a lot and I am not around as much for meet ups and around school activities.
a week ago friend A called me for a play date for our DC. While there we had coffee and she told me she really wanted to plan a night out with friend B, me and others. I said it sounded great, she sent through the venue, I booked and organised, adding us all to a WhatsApp group where everyone confirmed. I did notice on the chat that Friend A and Friend B were not responding to each other directly but responding to me, but didn’t think much of it at the time.
I get upset that I work a lot and I don’t have contact with friends as much as I want to, so I was really up for this evening out (the only free time I had outside family and work) to connect with them, so I played a big role in organising (pre-paid the reservation, invited others we all knew etc.)
before the evening started we had some pre-drinks at another bar and friend B joined early. She asked if friend A was there and I said “not yet” and she said “good.” She arrived and I probed her about friend A, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. Just weird responses like, oh you know what she’s like, thinks she’s the centre of the universe.
we get to the venue with a few others and friend B says “I am only staying if I can sit next to you.” I had pre-paid everything and wanted everyone to stay so I said, ok. My other friends were there too so I was stuck at the end of the table next to friend B, leaning over to chat to my other friends who she was not as close with.
i then get a text from friend A: “on my way. Save me a seat next to you, please.”
there is no seat next to me as I am on the end and just a seat on the other end of the table facing nobody.
30mins late, friend A arrives, greets everyone on the table apart from Friend B, sits down in the available seat and shouts across the table to me “come and sit next to me, I thought you were saving me a seat??”
friend B says “see I told you she thinks she is the centre of the universe”
i then realise they have fallen out and are not talking to each other and using me as some kind of go between.
i stay seated next to Friend B who makes no conversation except snide remarks about Friend A. She also eats and drinks nothing. Friend A eats alone at the end of the table. I can barely make conversation with my other friends.
I start to feel really angry but don’t want to cause an issue for my other friends who are now feeling extremely awkward, so I drink more.
i don’t know why friend A or friend B didn’t just go home to make it easier for everyone and themselves, but they both ensure they stay until the bitter end, not even saying a word to each other. We end up on a dance floor until 3am and I am spending the whole time prancing between the two, checking they are okay. Neither explaining why this was happening. When someone came up to dance with friend B though, Friend A was there twerking in front of them to distract them away from Friend B and vice versa. It was fucking exhausting.
now I am not speaking to either. Just haven’t responded to texts or calls. My other friends think it is an overreaction but I just feel really angry. Am I justified?