I’ll try not to make this too long, it’s just a typical ‘had enough’ scenario most likely, but I don’t know what to do. I have been with my husband almost 12 years… I got pregnant very young at 19, within a month or two of being together. It has always been rocky, he was very clingy at the start.. like VERY. I feel like I’ve tried to end things with him so many times, but he always manages to persuade me to stay it just ignores it and things just crack back into normal miserable life. He is just horrible, he moans about absolutely everything. Nothing I do is ever good enough, he wanted me to stop working recently and was really supportive of it, and the amount of times I’ve been called a lazy cow, get a f job if I want to have a day about money, it’s his money. The other day, I was talking and in a sentence said ‘J…and then another world’ can’t even remember what it was, but this is the beginning initial of my ex so he immediately thought that I was going to call him that. I wasn’t even saying his name for goodness sake. He went ballistic, called me a c* and everything. I think I have ADHD and I literally forget everything immediately so I really struggle to remember exactly what he does daily along these lines as he just managed to brush it off, and it angers me so much that I forget as I know how I felt in those moments. I ended up marrying him a few years ago, just following the course of the relationship, sometimes things are great… when we’re alone sometimes without the kids. I am so torn because I am attracted to him, he is a great dad ( when he isn’t using them to hurt me and he often asks them things about adult topics that they shouldn’t be involved in to try get them on his side) but I just feel exhausted and fed up of everything. He always argues in front of the children when i beg him not to. The worst thing is, everyone thinks he is the most perfect of perfect men. My family, my friends, anyone we come into contact with he is just Mr perfect.. but behind their backs he is VILE. He speaks so badly about everyone. He does help people a lot, but I have an earful about it every time. He can’t do anything without slagging people off or making a massive scene about everything. He turns nasty any time (once in a blue moon!!) I’m invited to do anything with a friend. The kids are emotional, and they have even spoken about things before in relation to other families etc, and gosh they say that will never happen to us and act like they’d be heartbroken. It would kill them… they think everything is fine. I have told him I want a divorce and every time I do, he’s sweet for a minute and tries to butter me up, but it all falls back to normal without a day. We are financially stable together obviously, and i don’t work at the moment ( I could work again any time though ). I’d just struggle so badly on my own.