DH complains constantly. It's draining.

[MrsJellycat]

As per title really. DH has always been a bit of a moaner but it's got worse in the last 10-15 years or so.

He literally complains about everything, all the time; it's too hot, it's too cold, he's got a headache, he's tired, the TV programme choice is shit, the bin smells, etc etc. It's fucking relentless and very draining, too.

What's worse is our teenage kids are getting the same; complaining constantly about anything and everything.

I have tried so many times to talk to him about it but he just says I'm the same (I am not! I make sure I'm not!) and then comes out with lots of complaints about me.

I feel exhausted by it all. I've just put up with another weekend of him moaning. And the kids, too.

I really don't know what to do about it

Is he depressed or stressed OP? could be unhappy in some way with work or personal life that's making him like that.

My dad was a bit of a drinker and constantly complained. Now he's sober he's a different person.

I'd walk away every time he or the DCs start to do it. For my own sanity more than anything. If trapped in the car with them close your eyes and stay silent. Remove their audience / target.

Every single time he complains reply with "areyou moaning at me again?"

If nothing else, it will bring home to him how often he's doing it.

What do you respond with?

Too hot - go get a cold drink
Too cold - put a jumper on or stick the heating on
Tired - have a coffee or take a nap
The bin stinks - fucking change it then
Got a headache - take some painkillers

All of these things have simple fixes. Suggest them, as bluntly as you can, and make it clear you couldn't care less.

The TV show is shit - "ok well put something else on and STFU"

Like @tescocreditcard said, a single consistent answer, no engagement with the issue. “Moaning is very unattractive” maybe.

Unfortunately he’s probably not interested in any response you give, and may not hear what you are saying.

Agree give blunt solutions and no audience.

In our house this is called Bleating. When the DC were younger I seemed to spend a few years bleating at them, literally like a sheep, it was a fun/less serious way of pointing out negativity and moaning. We still occasionally do it to one another, mostly they do it to me now!

Moaners do it for validation.

My Mum’s like this, it feels like everything she says is negative. If we go shopping, she’ll point out everything she doesn’t like, if I mention a recipe she’ll point on the one ingredient she doesn’t like, even though I wasn’t cooking for her. She only seems to have negative things to say about events/ people from her past. She can’t even be happy for others, for example when I mentioned getting coffee and a snack free from a coffee shop, she said I should have complained that I only had a small order.

It’s draining and I’ve been forced to limit my time with her as I could feel myself going down the same road.

Start calling him 'Victor Meldrew'.
Worked for me😂

Here for the advice. Mine can be similar. Yesterday he complained about someone else complaining.

Recently I was asking about something and he said “who cares?!” I burst out laughing, he burst out laughing and now “who cares?” is an acceptable light hearted response between us. I’m thinking it might be my ticket to sanity.

I can't stand this either OP, I call people moaning myrtle if they do this. Positive people only in my life as I find it draining. It indicates they are deeply unhappy.