I'm terrified I'm going to ruin a fantastic relationship with my insecurities

[DaaamnYoullDo]

I left an abusive relationship that I was in for my whole adult life last year. I wasn't intending to enter a new relationship yet because I feel so emotionally fragile. It was just meant to be sex, and I was intending to have fun with a few people before even considering looking for more.

But damn I really fell for him, and honestly I do, most of the time, believe he feels the same.

I feel like I need an insane amount of reassurance though. Like if he's online and not replying to me my mind starts telling me he's talking to someone else. He's not interested in me anymore.

I am so so scared of him rejecting me. Of him deciding he doesn't like me any more and I see the tiniest thing as a sign that he doesn't like me.

My mind is in such a mess over it. So I'm feeling that way now, but half of me is saying everything that makes me think he loves me. The other is saying everything that shows he doesn't like me anymore and it's stressing me out so much.

How do I stop this?! What the hell is going off in my head guys?

Not sure, to be honest. Sounds like you are still suffering from your last relationship and that isn't just going to disappear because you want it to. It's likely that in your emotional turmoil you are putting undue pressure on your new relationship - but what can you actually do about that? You feel how you feel.

Maybe don't put the additional pressure of blaming yourself for something that hasn't happened and just try to behave as well as you can to your new chap. You're not a machine so you will feel all the tough stuff, but you should treat him with trust and consideration as far as you can manage and be as honest as you feel comfortable about. That's all you can really do as you work out what's going on between the two of you. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Thank you, I'm really to manage it but I'm starting to feel like I don't know what's even real anymore.

It gets better, take it from someone who's been there.

Have a look through some of my earlier posts- I was exactly the same! I was waiting for him to mess up and it caused a lot of problems, but ultimately I worked on myself and I'm now in the best relationship you can imagine.

I'd recommend going to therapy, and working through things yourself rather than putting them on your DP. It's the harder route but the one you need to do if you ever want to have a decent relationship.