Think I prefer being single

[Dynastyheights5]

As the title of my post says I think I prefer being single.

What made you come to the conclusion you wasn't interested or cut out for dating and just 'gave up'.

I have spent most of adult life single and never married now 41 and don't this changing.

I'm happily single and refuse to settle for the sake of being in a relationship. Occasionally i have feelings it would be nice to meet someone then I think of how shit my past relationships were and then i think fuck this for a game of soldiers 🤣

I have never enjoyed the dating process and to me love or relationships are formed not found by looking.

I do miss regular sex but I don't really see what a relationship offers these days except disappointment and unnecessary drama.

When I'm not dating I notice I'm a lot happier.

I have come to terms with the fact I am a lousy picker as far as men are concerned. I divorced years ago, no interest in dating or marrying again, and love my single life for far too many reasons to go into.

Brace yourself for posters telling you not to give up, the right man is out there, you can't possibly be really happy single. There have been a couple of positive threads about being single recently it might be worth looking for.

I know how you feel OP. Three marriages down the line one of 20 years now single. I just don't feel I want to make any more compromises or effort.
I just want to lie in bed all day on a Saturday if I'm exhausted after a gruelling week at work and not have to clear up someone elses mess, have them nagging at me to go out on some tedious journey or whatever.
I just want to be left the hell alone.

So I was a young widow. I'm now in my early 30's with a 9 year old.

I've come to terms and worked through my grief of being "a widow". I did try after about 2 years dating on the advice of friends, family and my therapist as I was "too young to be single for the rest of my life".

But Jesus Christ on a bike was it depressing. I lasted about 6months in the dating game.

Single 30-40 year old men I found are single for a reason, they are generally arseholes and the bottom of the barrel of what's left 😳

So I uninstalled the dating apps, and never looked back. And I am so incredibly happy on my own.

I don't have to compromise, clean up after anyone, I can watch what I want to watch, cook what I want to cook. My day is never disrupted by another adult fighting or arguing with me. It's bliss 😂

I've fully accepted I am too selfish now for a relationship, I have full control of my life, my home, my life and I revel in it.

I still have an active social life, I go out for meals with friends, nights out occasionally when I have child care, and I even went on a abroad hen do not so long ago, and I sat back on a beach in benidorm listening to all the other women moan about their partners and I realised "fuck I love my single life" 😂

When DS turns 18 I'm fully lookin forward to holidays abroad on my own, visiting places, cruises, hell I'll even try a coach holiday. Life is good ☺️

I've been single 4 years.

I've also uninstalled the date apps and just accepted I'm actually happy - happier now I've done that .

Right now I'm
Laid in bed , watching Glastonbury.
IN my knickers !

Stark contrast to 4 years ago - I was living with an abusive arse - he'd gone on a bike ride all day and I'd watched Glastonbury

When he got in he was angry and asked what the hell id been doing all day .
Because I'd done no housework - it was my day off too - and id decided to watch Glastonbury.
Today I'm doing exactly the same without worrying what's going to get said to me .

It's lovely !

(Tho I'm very upset the manics have aged with me !) 😂

I know for a fact that if/when I get divorced I will not date. I would never get so emotionally/legally/financially attached again.

I’m in a long distance/not living together relationship. We’ve been together years but I have no desire to give up the interludes I’m not with him and trot along perfectly happy, at home, on my own. We’re compatible but after he’s been here for a week or so or I’m up there, I’m glad to be on my own again!

We’ve got the best of both lives really with no particular desire to give it up.

I know what it’s like to be single (for a long time) so
if something happens to destroy this happy equilibrium we have, I’ll be very happy to be single again.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain I can't say I blame for choosing to remaining single. It's dire out there. Love the username by the way!

hell I'll even try a coach holiday. Life is good ☺️

I do coach trips and at 69 I'm usually the youngest there 😆

I do miss regular sex
A long time relationship doesn’t always guarantee that.

Hold my beer, I've got this haha, I'll be in my early 40's and I am so willing to talk to everyone and hear about their lives, their stories and just generally enjoy 😂

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4829677-anyone-else-just-happy-being-single?page=1

A very positive thread here, OP.

Like somebody upthread I've gone from co-dependent relationships to an uncomplicated if slightly unorthodox situation. Surprised to find that it suits me.

I'm still getting used to being technically single, and am having to work out how to say, 'thanks for the compliment but no thanks'.

I'm not totally happy in my own company yet, and have cut down massively on drink as I realised I was hiding behind it. As a result, another suboptimal coping strategy is rearing its head, which I'm working through now.

It's as if I am scared of the freedom, and want to keep slamming the cage door. My friend says it's like watching a bird making tentative steps out of the cage. In the past, somebody else has yanked the thread around my leg as I take flight, and pulled me in again. He says he can see me tethering myself!

My biggest problem is making myself socialise. From somebody who was desperate to go out, but whose arsehole partner had alienated all of our friends, I've turned into this creature who enjoys working, my home and my own company.

I'll get there as will all of you.

I’m happy single
this time last year I was in a rather up down situationship , and I’m noticing how much more I enjoy summer this year , my garden and my house
I’m not ruling out meeting someone but I’m not pining either

Are you (all of you who are happy single) naturally born happy singles or is being single better option now after dating/relationship?

I’m asking vecause I want to become happy single, I don’t know how to get there.
I’ve been single all my life, never been in a relationship (not my choice) I’m wondering is that the reason why it’s so hard for me to be single?

Are you (all of you who are happy single) naturally born happy singles or is being single better option now after dating/relationship?

Both. My marriage was, frankly, a mistake but I wasn't mature enough to know what made me happy.

Took me a while but I finally realised that I am pretty close to asexual. I don’t have a drive at all really and so don’t see the point of having a relationship any longer. I’ve got a couple of adult kids and 3 grandkids who all live close by, lots of female friends and I have a nice life. I found that in a relationship I had to compromise too much.

I adored late DH, we had a wonderful relationship and marriage, so my happy single status doesn't come from being a better option after a bad relationship as such. It does somewhat come from disastrous online dating and meeting what I can only describe as emotionally immature fuck boys. But after a few months of that, I sorta settled, and realised, I really could be genuinely happy in my own skin, in my own time and space and that I really didn't need anyone to fill that space with me.