13 weeks post separation and pain and depression getting worse - is this normal?

[PotsnPan]

As per the title. Constantly ruminating, got all manner of mental health support in place, wake up every morning with panic attached and it continues each day.

of a night time, I get a bit of myself back and feel as though I can take on the world but the morning comes and I crash again.

H won’t speak to me without screaming at me, I can’t accept it’s over despite him constantly telling me it is - I know people will say I have to accept that and move on but there’s something stopping me from being able to do that, I’ve a meeting with a psychiatrist next week to try to sort my head out.

anyone else still in agony, to the point where you’re getting worse, over 3 months since separation? Together 13 years, married 4

You have to accept it's over. Harsh but true otherwise you'll not be able tonxome to terms with it ending and then mvibing in.
Youre doing yourself no favours dwelling on things.

Start now, delete all messages etc - I accept you came delete his number. Only message/call if it's an utter emergency.

You are the only one that can help you start to see clearly. Start now. Start accepting its over.

I am so sorry. I do think it's totally normal to go through many stages before you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and 3 months is nothing after 13 years together. I think all you can do at this stage is take it day by day, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and in time things will get better. Best wishes to you, be kind to yourself, it's such early days.

You have 2 separate issues;

You need to stop contacting your ex. Regardless of how you feel and what you want, contacting him is not going to get you what you want or end well for you.

Keep your appointment and see the psychiatrist. But still, you need to work on not contacting him, and as a separate issue from how you feel about the separation.
I appreciate its hard, but please do this for yourself

Same boat for me. Together 12.5 years, split just over 3 months. He cheated. I have started sertraline which is helping, have no contact except about the kids, Journal, read self help books, exercise and walk dog. I also phone people to get my thoughts out. It is all slowly working but a very slow process.

@Singleaftermarriage i am so very sorry to hear you’re going thru a similar situation. I struggle when he sees my DD, feel as though I’ve just been cast out of the family unit. Does it help to know you’re not alone?

Thank you everyone for taking the time to comment, all messages are greatly received and help me to know that I will get thru this

I'm not as far along as you so I don't know how I'll feel. I'm about seven weeks in, together 11 years married six and with a nearly 3YO DD. Also cheated on.

It's fucking horrendous. I can't find my tribe yet in real life of single mums. I'm the first to become one in my friendship circles. Just posting to say hi really. It is shit. I'm sorry we are all here. And things will get so much better for all of us

@HelloSunshine12 so very very sorry - I never knew it was possible to feel way. All I can say is keep on moving forward, feel your emotions, reach out to anyone who cares enough to listen - you’ll be surprised who is willing to lend a listening ear. Take care of yourself and feel free to DM me whenever you want to

I also have that feeling of can't find my tribe, I have a little baby and all I can think of is who will come with us on days out and holidays x

I don’t think it’s quite as easy as this after three months. This is pretty thoughtless advice tbh.

Join Frolo. All single parents. I'm not quite ready for meet ups yet but it helps to know there are lots of single parents out there.

Bless you, you sound really sad, I hope you turn a corner soon.

I’ve not experienced it, but I would think it’s a huge grieving process with lots of “first” first day single, first weekend, first birthday, Christmas etc.

So you may feel you’re not progressing, but each first you get through, you are progressing.

I hope you feel brighter soon.