Why can’t I handle these situations?

[chaffinch32456]

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had a couple of events that have really floored me. One is my SEN son almost not getting a place at school. The second is being completely sidelined at work. I thought I was going to be made redundant. It seems I still have a role, but my line manager has made it very clear she doesn’t want me in her team.

I feel I need to be stronger to deal with these situations. I’m trying to be positive, but my thought processes are defaulting to : failure as a Mum, or failure at my job.
I did take anti depressants for a while and had stopped taking them - and felt like I didn’t need them. But these two events have - suddenly - brought me down to rock bottom again. I guess the answer is just to take them again and get myself in a good place?

It's really unfair that your line manager has made you feel like this. What has caused it?

Thanks @determinedtomakethiswork
It does feel unfair, but I don’t think there is much I can do. I don’t agree with her ethos, even though I’ve tried to work with it this year. I’ve worked hard and tried to accommodate/change my thinking.

You say you can’t handle these situations but you have! You found them hard, as anyone would, but you’re still standing. Have faith in yourself OP, yiu are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re amazing.

Time to get another job?

Thank you @Bowbowbo - you made me well up there!!

The school place does now sound sorted.

Work - I fundamentally don’t agree. From incidents I’ve witnessed, I’ll stick with what I think is morally right - rather than aligning with something I believe to be wrong. Even if that means I’ll be sidelined.

And I’ll keep my eyes open for a new job.

Thank you again! Xx

If that post made you well up, it means you're not used to hearing that sort of thing, which suggests that it doesn't happen in your head.

Your post is in the 'what's wrong with me?' vein.

Time to do some reading about self validation, but in short, never forget that you rock, and that you are VERY good at life. Operate from that basis. It's true, because it's true for everyone, but the key is to respect your feelings. At the moment, you are questioning and rejecting them. But it's fine to feel like this is hard, it's fine to struggle. Everybody does.

Thank you @Watchkeys - that’s a great post.

I can see that and agree. When I take medication I am in that place. But these recent 2 pretty big knocks and I fall into a down spiral of negativity. I’ve been off medication for about 6 months, and thought I was winning. On medication, I think I’d have handled it better. I don’t want to start taking again, but it’s only low dose. It’s whether I can pull myself up without it.

Why are you reluctant to take medication?

It's not a failing on your part. You take painkillers if you're in pain? You'd have your leg in a cast if it were broken?

Theyres no shame in taking anti depressants nor virtue in stoically not taking them if they'd help.

Take care of yourself.

Take the meds. Mine keep me sane and able to cope with life. I don't care if I'm on them for the rest of my life. It sounds like you view taking the meds as failing and giving in, but you couldn't be further from the truth. There's no shame or stigma apart from your own thoughts.

I think that perhaps it might help you to realise that feeling shit sometimes is a part of life. It's not a failing in you. If you know that taking some drugs will stop you feeling like a shit mum or a shit employee, then that's you proof that this is subjective. It's not factual that you are shit, it's just your opinion, your mood.

So, what do you do with a person that feels like they're shit at something? Pump them full of drugs! Or.. can you think of any other suggestions, @ParallelSinge ?