Recently my long term relationship came to an end due to cheating and my EXP having an affair. It’s since come to light she was just one of many many women and he has been cheating for at least the last 6 years since our first child was born. Working abroad has enabled that behaviour. I’m devastated and to be honest I’m not sure I’ve even begun to process the events truly. I feel like my life was a lie.
looking back there were a lot of red flags but I am now wondering if these behaviours seem consistent with narcissistic tendencies?
Initially blamed me for the cheating as he was unhappy and I didn’t fix him.
Anger if things did not go to his plan or schedule. Would be resentful and difficult. Was not even allowed to be poorly without criticism. Then he would rant there must be something wrong with me like I was weak.
minimised my feelings and made me out to be crazy when I had suspicions.
lied to me about where he was and would still lie even when I would have physical proof. Then I would be very slowly drip fed information until eventually the truth or part truth would come out.
would completely cut off communication and refuse to engage if he didn’t want to talk about issues. It felt like I was being tortured.
Obsessed with work to such an unhealthy level that he would put it before everyone and everything. Runs multiple companies and barely sleeps as no mount of money ever seems enough.
At the break up when confronted all i got was “I just want to do what I want to do”
Still can’t put his children as his number one priority, hardly sees them ( a few weeks a year) but thinks he is a fantastic dad.
Thinks he is incredibly important and his job is all superior and others are beneath him.
Seems to lack empathy and emotional intelligence. I’m always being dramatic, crazy and made to feel my feelings are dis proportionate to the situation.
those are examples off the top of my head.
Does any one have advice on this kind of behaviour and how you co parent with someone like this? Feels like I’m talking to a wall when I try to communicate anything with this man regarding the children .