Should I stay

[balconybythesea]

Married with 3 children under 8.
Living abroad in a beautiful place with lots of home help.
Started back at work 6 months ago and going well.
Known husband since university, now both in our mid 40s.
Always had some dissatisfaction in the relationship but thought husband would be good family man and I could bring out the best in him in other respects - in particular his lack of interests and weight problem that developed in his 20s.
We are 13 years married now. He is very overweight with a huge stomach, maybe 30kg overweight. We have very little to no sex life. He works quite hard but feels resentful and disrespected at work. We get along ok but he doesn't add much. He is a frequent drinker, partly for work but major interest is social drinking and taking it easy. He's tired and moody. Energy level not great in general, often reactive, complains a lot, finds having kids hard work although he's not doing much of it.
I am in good shape, v sporty, enjoying the kids and work, multiple other interests, recently very frustrated sexually. I feel I've married to a one dimensional person without much depth. He's on his phone first thing waking up and going to sleep. In arguments he is often quite nasty and critical. I am wondering where this is all going. He has done his best to provide but apart from this (which is a very big thing), I am not sure I particularly like him or respect him.

You could try counselling, but would he lose weight and change, like you need him to ?

If you can’t like or respect him, you’re clearly done with him. You’ve outgrown him. You’re not on the same page any more.
Your move!

You sound like you entered the relationship and remained because you thought you could possibly change him into your true ideal.

You can't. He has to want change and change himself. He seems content with who he is.

You don't have a husband, you have a roommate that you've had children with that doesnt help and sounds like he has emotionally disconnected and detached.

He's over it all.

Sounds like you are too.

Plus, if he's on his phone all the time, it's highly likely he's cheating. Emotionally perhaps even physically.

You two have drifted apart and have grown in different directions.

You both aren't interested in each other.

People change, and relationships change.

It happens.

A lot of people enter relationships thinking everything will remain the same always...

Maybe you never should have married him at all...

Would it be so badly divorcing him and moving on??? Especially since he doesn't do much in regards of parenting, the relationship, etc...??

Counseling isn't going to change anything unless the both of you want it and put effort in it....

Even with both of you committed to possibly improving things....some things aren't meant to last the remainder of your life.

The relationship has run it's course..if it was ever on course to begin with..

This is a decision you have to make.

Stay in misery, and unhappiness,

Or leave, and possibly be at peace and happy.