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Relationships

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Original poster

Anyone decided to remain single but then met someone and changed their mind?

13 replies

Myownself · 23/06/2023 19:20

I'm single, after a bad breakup decided to never get involved with anyone again. I'm in my 40s. Am interested to hear from anyone who felt similar and then met someone they really liked. I suppose I'm unsure what I really want in the future.

OP posts:

Trinity69 · 23/06/2023 19:23

I split with my children’s dad in early 2017. I resigned myself to the fact I’d be single, my kids have additional needs and I was quite happy that the 3 of us were settled and happy and had our own nice little routine. I can’t say I was single through choice particularly but I was content and certainly wasn’t looking for anyone else to change our dynamic. Then BAM. There he was, February 2020 met the man I’m still with now and can’t imagine my life without him in it.

Goatbilly · 23/06/2023 21:14

It depends....I think if you genuinely don't want a romantic relationship, even if you were to meet someone "special", I don't think you'd be convinced by them/the relationship on offer because you ultimately value more your freedom well-being and security than risking it for someone "special" who may turn out some months later not to be that special after all.

Iwantitidontwantit · 23/06/2023 21:34

I did. Had a terrible divorce in 2012 and was very happily single until 2019 when I met my partner. It was an instant attraction that I'd never experienced and we are currently making plans to elope! I was adamant I would never, ever marry again 😂. I am not sure we ever truly know what the future holds for us, no matter what we feel.

TappingTed · 23/06/2023 21:40

Me!
I decided to stay single for a decade while my children grew up after my separation and subsequent divorce.
I met and married my now husband less than two years after that separation… 🤣

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 23/06/2023 21:45

That was me, although a lot younger, I'd been hurt badly and decided never again. Then I met my partner and am still with them over 10 years later.

AlwaysReadyNeverSteady · 23/06/2023 22:38

I did! Had 7 years of constant disappointments on OLD after breakdown of a 15 year relationship.
Really was ready to just forget the whole thing, then found someone who is the best person I've ever met. I'm so glad I didn't give up!

mrsneate · 24/06/2023 00:56

Yes.

I was single for 7 years. After a long time in the disastrous dating world I got to a point I was happy and content, never imagined sharing my life with someone else let alone a home.

2 years ago, unplanned evening in the local pub. I met my soon to be husband. He has lived in the village all his life. I had been here 6 years. I knew his friends. He knew my friends, but our paths didn't ever cross until that night. We had 5 dates that first week. Moved in together last summer. Got engaged last October. Getting married next sept.

I think escaping an abusive marriage and being in the dating world. Taught me a lot about myself and what I shouldn't be tolerating in a partner. He is the complete opposite of my ex husband and treats me like an equal and how I deserve.

Nicecow · 24/06/2023 00:59

Why do you have to decide. Be happy within yourself, plan for your future and whatever happens, happens

SmoothSeasDoNotMakeGoodSailors · 24/06/2023 01:19

Me too. I was so over men after a lifetime of shitty relationships and when my marriage broke up I was done. I was single for 4 years, building myself back up again and happy to be on my own. Then I met my now DP and it was instant attraction. I made the move and here we are 5 years later. I don't think we will ever live together or get married but we are happy and I still fancy the bones of him.

projectblister · 24/06/2023 01:45

I think it depends on the reasons why you decided to remain single.

If it was being badly hurt in a break up, time can heal that, but if it's something to do with yourself then maybe it's different. I don't know because it hasn't happened to me (yet), but I have a strong feeling I'd stay single, but that's because I have medical issues and huge self esteem issues.

My grandfather died when my grandmother was in her 40s and she stayed single.

My mother in law split with her partner when only in her 20s and never dated again!!

My aunt got divorced early 50s (not her choice) and never dated again.

HereIAmThereYouAre · 27/12/2023 00:37

Yes, although I was very young (19). Got badly hurt, decided I was sworn off men for at least a year, then met DH the same week. Been together for nearly 25 years...

talktome10 · 27/12/2023 21:05

Yep, I'm now married nearly 3 years with an 18mnth old, and one on the way. Couldn't be happier. It just came along and because I was chilled, and not bothered it happened so organically, rather then me forcing things x

Memyaelf · 19/08/2024 12:21

Myownself · 23/06/2023 19:20

I met my sons dad.. we partied and had fun and unfortunately or fortunately fell pregnant at 21yrs. At 23 I met my first hub.. beautiful wedding, shit marriage. He was an arse. Divorced by 27. Met another one who was even more of an arse.. that lasted 5yrs, so at 40 I was done! But at 42 by chance met my DH.. married at 48, moved countries and here we are 12yrs later. Stop looking. The right one will just come along xx

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