Not sure what I'm looking for here :/

[raindrops21]

Hi.

Not sure where to start or go to. With my dp over 12 years, two children. I'm finding it so hard being together lately and walking on eggshells. He'll often call me 'thickie' and touching me up in front of our child who's 12 and has started copying thinking it's funny even after I say to stop I don't like that! I'll be called all sorts from c*nt in front of the children and everything is always my fault. I hate coming home from work as he's constantly negative all the time. Our older child has adhd and can be difficult but he loses it with him calling him a bastard and worse a lot of the time!
Even when I'm sitting in the evenings it's what he wants to watch and if I'm on my phone he'll ask what I'm doing and who am I talking too! I love sex normally but not lately and he'll keep pestering and going and going until I give in!
Not sure what I'm looking for just needed to get it off my chest as can't say it to anyone in RL right now

My parents are really good and Im close with them but wouldn't be able to talk to them right now while still together as I know they'd be upset to say the least with what they'd hear and wouldn't be able to be in same room!

I'm terrified I guess and don't know where to start or what to do. I've tried to get him to go before and he laughs and refuses at me.. I feel stuck.

Can you ask your parents to come over whilst your tell him you want him to leave? He can pack a bag and collect the rest another time. Your children will be better off in the long run trust me. You can’t feel guilty about ripping a family apart but stay and allow your children to pick up these disgusting habits. If you mean your child is now touching you up sexually copying his father then this absolutely has to be stopped right now. This man won’t change, yes the good times might be good but the bad? You only get one life OP, don’t waste it like this, the next generation copying the one before, you’re teaching your children about living in an abusive home and that will carry through, your children’s children etc. Break the cycle now

My parents are really good and Im close with them but wouldn't be able to talk to them right now while still together as I know they'd be upset to say the least with what they'd hear and wouldn't be able to be in same room!

So what?

Stop trying to protect everyone else from being upset with each other. None of this is your fault and you need help dealing with it.

What an awful guy it's text book abuser.

“Seriously, he is teaching your 12 year old child how to sexually assault women. Can you see how abusive this is to your child? What happens if your child starts touching girls at school? He is over the age of criminal responsibility. The consequences for your child's future could be catastrophic - and that's leaving aside the actual trauma of coming to realise when he's older "Fucking hell, I sexually assaulted my mum."

You cannot stay with this man. I know it will be hard but your kids need you to step up and protect them.”

This with bells on. It’s horrendous. Yes, getting him out is difficult but living this life is worse and harder. If you don’t act now, your children will be damaged in a very bad way and you will massively regret it.

My mum, as a secondary school teacher in the 1980s-1990s, taught a young lad who had been sexually abused by his parents. As a teenager in school, he had inappropriately sexual responses to the female teachers as a direct result of his parents’ abuse. God knows how things ended up for him but the damage done was utterly appalling. Don’t let that be your son.

@raindrops21 - tell your parents what’s going on. Ask your dad to come over and be there when you ask this guy to leave. Perhaps call the police also and report what’s been going on. Explain you’re going to be asking him to leave and you’re scared he won’t go.

'When things are good they are so good' is what everyone says in an abusive toxic relationship (including me)