Do I say something or keep shut

[Elusivelady]

So, I had a best friend of 26 years. About 10 years ago she got with my ex boyfriend of 6 years and we fell out. They didn't last long and I know he used her. He was a nasty piece of work so I forgave her and decided too forget all about that mistake.

Fast forward 3 years we both moved on settled down in relationships had children who were best of friends the 4 of us were best of friends saw each other weekly, went on holidays days out etc as families/couples.

Anyway early last year I became friendly with her sister who I have known as long as her, which she didn't like her partner came to our house and asked us too stop seeing her. Then drive too her sisters house and asked them too stop seeing us 3 weeks before we had a massive group holiday booked with them, her sister and other friends.

Anyway on that holiday, they singled us out completely, told her sister too sack us off when we had planned a meal out, and just made the holiday completely rubbish. Anyway once we came back they didn't talk too us! We saw each other at a bbq weeks later and they didn't say a word just ignored us. Pulled their kid away from ours and just made it thoroughly awkward for everyone.

A year on they still don't talk too us, 26 years of friendship gone because of jealousy basically. However we've bumped into each other a few times at kids parties, friends BBQs etc as we have mutual friends we've tried to be civil but we just get ignored. So quite clearly they want nothing to do with us which is fine I'm over it.

However 12 months on I'm constantly been told she's talking about me, bitching about me. Still trying to turn her sister against me. Trying too turn her sisters kids against me who now call me aunty, told her sister to make sure her kids stay away from mine ( was a different story when I used to look after her kids have them over night, take them on holiday. But never once had mine)

But I really want too message and say something along the lines of..

I don't want an argument or too come across rude but I am so fed up of hearing your talking about me and trying too turn people against me when I was nothing but a bloody good friend too you. You clearly don't want anything to do with me which is fine; but please, please move on with your life and let me move on with mine. Stop talking about me and forget about me if you dislike me so much.

Am I been reasonable or should I just rise above it? I've held my calm for 12 months but surely after that long she should just get over it?

Leave it.

Let them keep running their mouths because they'll just look utterly stupid and miserable.

You keep quiet. If anyone asks questions about them, be nice & kind.

They'll hate it!

Live your life and move on.

Childish crap, all of it. By messaging, you are no better. All of you really need to grip up and focus on your own lives. And don't tell me "but I am, it's her", because you are the one posting and talking about texting her.

Leave it. Acknowledging it in anyway will reignite the drama.

If I were you I’d ask anyone telling you what she is saying to stop. You don’t care or need to hear what she is saying about you. I think passing on messages like that itself is fairly bitchy. Can you ask her sister to stop mentioning to you what she is saying?

That's pretty much what I was thinking

I just absolutely hate been made out to be such a bad person when I know I was nothing but a good friend.

I'd book days off work when she had no childcare too have her kids, just the little things I did for her with no appreciation. But I did because that's what friends do now I'm made out too be the big bad wolf for not bowing down when they told me I wasn't allowed too speak to someone.

I agree it is childish shit. Completely childish. And my words when it all happened was I'm too old to be involved in play ground Shit.

But after 12 months my name is still been made too be mud it's ridiculous and damaging really

I wouldn’t txt her and engage in drama, rise above and live your life. Tbh she will continue bitching regardless of your reaction she is clearly this sort of person, I bet it’s known to everyone.

So you, ex friend and her sister and families all went on holiday? If ex friend gets on with her sister, what's their issue?

"Damaging" how?

People who know you, will know you well enough to see it's bullshit.

And you don't want people who don't know you but would judge you in your life anyway.

I really don't understand why you are even still entertaining it. If its mutual friends telling you, it's quite easy for you to tell them that you don't wish to hear anything further on the topic. Change the subject. Make your own choices, be the bigger person. You can't change her, only yourself. Some people are wankers, you don't have to join them. Rise above it.

You're allowed to speak to who you like. They sound bizarre, leave them behind, no need to have any more to do with them.

I just absolutely hate been made out to be such a bad person when I know I was nothing but a good friend.

"Being made out to be a bad person" by weirdos, hopefully other people that matter will see they're bonkers and ignore.

When people tell you what nonsense she is spewing dismiss it maybe say again? Does she have no life? Anyway.....or just change the subject if your called out for it explain you were a good friend to her helped her massively with zero help back and for unknown reasons she has done this you forgave her once you won't be doing it again and your not interested in hearing about her dramas anymore