How to break up with someone you love/are attached to

[Lilly0909]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months and do not live together fortunately.
I know I need to break up with him for many reasons. I do still love him, but I don't particularly like him anymore and just constantly find myself disappointed, upset and irritated by him. Happy to explain if it is helpful but in short I have reached the point where I feel I am walking on eggshells around him and always have to watch or filter what I say/do.

How do I break up with him and STAY broken up with him? I have tried to do it many times but always go back on it as the fear of losing him/being alone is so strong.

I feel my mental health may be starting to decline as a result of the relationship.

He is very active on social media and is an 'influencer' so I imagine staying away from snooping his social media will be very hard.

I am 24, he is 28. I have 4 close friends however none live near to me or are friends with eachother so a social life is hard to arrange with the distance and I am worried this loneliness might cause me to go back to him or jump into another relationship too soon.

I've got all the usual tips of:

1. No contact
2. Don't lurk on social media

Any other tips? Should I explain in detail exactly why I want to break up when I do it or just keep it vague to avoid opening a conversation where I change my mind?

Any help or past experiences would be amazing.

You are so young and it's vital you don't waste any more time with him.

However, you need to sort out where you live - is it the right place for you? What are your interests and hobbies? Is there a way you can stay where you are and make new friends, or would you be better off moving?

I'd make a vow to come off social media for several months, tbh. Go hardcore so that you don't see any reference to this man at all. (Btw, a guy who's an influencer? It sounds so shallow.)

You can do this - you don't even like him!

I wonder whether you are picking up on the fact he's not authentic? If he's all over social media as an influencer, maybe he's unsure of his own opinions and goes with what he thinks the public wants?

Thank you!
I'm a trainee teacher and live with parents so not an option :(

Oh OK, how long until your training finishes?

Are you doing a BEd or a PGCE?

Op that’s sad, I wondered what you get from social media? Obviously it meets a need - perhaps boredom, connection with people. Could you find something else to replace that need? Real life hobby? Meet up groups? Gym? Podcasts?

I’m glad social media wasn’t around when I was going through breakups in my 20s.

Good luck

I’d suggest joining some clubs, a sports team or volunteering to meet some new people and to absorb yourself in. It’s good to be busy.