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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP issues socialising

3 replies

Pegasus41 · 22/06/2023 08:42

Love my DP of two years very much but feeling a bit dismayed that us socialising with my friends and family doesn’t work very well. He doesn’t have much of a filter, that’s part of the problem: he will blurt out. He may have ADHD, undiagnosed. That’s part of who he is, I guess I need to accept it. And also, If he’s had a hard day it will mean he’s a bit grumpy or more prone to getting into heated discussion when out socialising, and he’s going through a hard time at the moment on several fronts and it’s not likely to improve for him for while. He isn’t grumpy like that with me one to one. For context we don’t actually socialise much together.
And finally, he grew up in the care system and though he’s educated with master’s degrees and leading a middle class life, he has insecurities socialising with my middle class friends and can come across as tetchy and trying to prove himself to them in a way that is not relaxing socially. Not sure how to approach it. I want to be supportive but also find it a bit stressful when this stuff happens.

OP posts:
SuperSuperDry · 22/06/2023 08:44

My DH has always been this way - he was diagnosed this year with ASD. He has accepted it’s the way he is though and we don’t really socialise with each others friends much, tbh we don’t get the opportunity 😂

Doee he feel that there is something that makes him this way, I mean, does he realise?

BadNomad · 22/06/2023 08:48

Does he have to socialise with them? Maybe you would both be happier sticking to your own friends.

Pegasus41 · 22/06/2023 08:50

Yes, perhaps that’s what we should do - stick to own friends. I guess he hasn’t met that many of my friends but maybe it’s not necessary.

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