How to decline a date

[dontbethatperson]

A really nice colleague has asked me out, but it's a 'no' from me, for various reasons.

I don't think I'd be comfortable getting involved with any colleague, as I'm quite private about thing like that and nothing in our place stays private.

I also know that I'm probably not in the right place emotionally. My ex died last year and that has messed with my head a lot. I still can't see past all that.

Obviously, I don't want to hit him with that.

So what's the best way of saying "thanks, but no thanks"?

“I’m flattered, but I’m not looking for a relationship at the moment.”

Hey Jonathon,

Thanks for asking me out for dinner at Savoy. I think you're really nice, so I appreciate you asking me out.

At the moment, I don't have time or energy to give this a chance it deserves, so just to let you know I appreciate the invite but I don't see myself going out with new any new colleagues or friends.

XoXO

Lydyia Bacroft-Wharpe

I think you have a very genuine and sensible reason:

Sorry Brian, I have a really strict rule that I don't date people from work. But I'm flattered, thank you.

Thanks so much for the invitation. I’m not in the right place just now to accept. It was lovely of you to ask.

Nah, don’t shit where you eat and all that.

I dont think you need to go into lots of detail about not looking for a relationship etc, the guy has only asked you on a date. IME the more reasons you give them the more ways of them finding solutions to those barriers .
I would just give a polite courteous decline.
Ah thank you but I'm going to decline, hope you have a lovely day, or something along those lines. Short sweet. He has asked you on a date without any steer from you that you are interested (I'm assuming), while social etiquette (and just being a decent human) requires you to be polite, you are not obligated to list your reasons in order to protect his ego/pride.

So what's the best way of saying "thanks, but no thanks"?

Exactly that, "no thank you" is all you need to say. Problem solved.

This one. If there's any chance of either of you finishing working there soon I'd say

"I'm not dating at the moment but even I was I have a strict rule about no work colleagues. Thanks for the invitation though, I'm flattered."

Never a good idea dating someone from work. The awkwardness when it goes wrong is awful and also affects your work capacity. I made that mistake at a company I worked for 12 years ago, hard lesson to learn.
Just be kind tell him simply why and leave it at that.

I think this is pefect.

You don't have to give him any reasons why you aren't up for a relationship.

I wouldn't mention not wanting a relationship....because it's quite likely he may not want a relationship either. He's asking you on a date, not to be his girlfriend.

Just say, thank you, that's very kind of you, but I'd like to keep things between us professional.

Make sure you shut it down properly. I did the whole ‘I’m not looking for a relationship’ and got a whole essay back about how he wasn’t either he just wanted to get to know me and see where it went. Leave no room for doubt. ‘Sorry, I’m very flattered but not interested in you romantically. I hope this doesn’t make things awkward’