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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

People making fun of you

8 replies

Jellyfish26 · 21/06/2023 21:38

Hello. This happened today, but people in general making fun of me has been a recurring theme throughout my life, and I'm a sensitive person so wonder what is wrong with me.
So. I was at the bus station sat next to some 30-ish looking guy who offered to exchange money into larger coins, when he saw me fumbling with change. He seemed eager to chat and spoke at length about his life, even though he didn't care whether I offered much input or was interested. I did try though at the beginning. We had a "normal" conversation for about 15 min. He also said he received injection "therapy" today, and I presumed it was something like an AP (antipsychotic), and I was right. He also seemed a bit spaced out or not with it.
He asked how long I ever worked for, and I said barely a year (due to my own mental health issues I didn't feel like mentioning), and said it was because I quickly got bored and constantly felt something better was waiting for me, so switched jobs a lot, and that part is true.
From then on, he started smiling or chuckling weirdly, and kept asking weird questions. Like if I read books much (chuckling plentifully and even when I was silent whilst looking at me - definitely in a mocking way), if my surname is a famous singer's surname (we share the same first name) but that he "doesn't know her", if I believe that he lived by himself when he was a small child for a year, etc. Laughing all the while, directed at me.
Even when I tried to respond, he was sort of making fun of what I said. Not being too sensitive, was very uncomfortable for over 10 minutes and he kept looking at me and laughing at me.

So my question - someone with his sort of experience/problems, why would he randomly start making fun of someone? In your exp., what is "wrong"/different with someone (child or adult) who is often made fun of? Always wondered this. Or why would someone do that? This sort of upset me and it's not a nice feeling, from a stranger. Don't think his "illness" had that much effect.
Sometimes I really think that my few friends never do this or never can tell me what is wrong with me because they're too polite or tolerant.
What is your opinion?

OP posts:
MollysBrolly · 21/06/2023 21:41

I lie when people insist on cmstriking up a conversation. Then I plead with transport fairies to hurry the train/bus along. It's at these times I wish I could drive

Jellyfish26 · 21/06/2023 21:41

Also, he was pretty sober and definitely wasn't having an episode whilst talking, because he seemed fairly rational and fine-fuctioning, just a little off from recently receiving therapy.

OP posts:
Jellyfish26 · 21/06/2023 21:43

MollysBrolly · 21/06/2023 21:41

I lie when people insist on cmstriking up a conversation. Then I plead with transport fairies to hurry the train/bus along. It's at these times I wish I could drive

Confused.

OP posts:
HappyintheHills · 21/06/2023 21:49

I think @MollysBrolly would not have engaged with the random by denying having any money to be changed.
Never engage with the randoms

Teamsaction · 21/06/2023 21:50

I think it was nice of you to talk to him but I would never engage with a random at a bus stop, although I'm not very friendly. He sounds odd so I think the awkwardness was due to him not you.

HappyintheHills · 21/06/2023 21:51

The chap in question was having trouble engaging with the world, how could we possibly guess why he did anything? I bet he didn’t and doesn’t know.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 21/06/2023 22:10

I think in this particular case the guy talking to you was seriously unwell and you cannot ascribe 'normal' motivations to him.

However I have noticed that people who are frequently mocked, teased and bullied do tend to go through life repeating those same patterns. I suspect there is some reaction that you make when you encounter a bully that they see as a green light to continue. A bit like how abusive men "test" their intended victims and then ramp up the abuse over time. Women who have healthy boundaries and self-respect will walk away.

I don't know what that thing is, but maybe one question to ask yourself is why you decided to remain sitting with this man and listening to him talk badly to you. Was it physical fear for your safety? Did you feel you had to be "kind" to him? Did you want him to like you? Was there a part of you that felt you deserved to sit there and take it?

If this is a recurring pattern for you, maybe exploring this with a therapist would be helpful?

angelfacecuti75 · 26/07/2023 21:52

I think this bloke had a mental health condition and the problem was him, not you.

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