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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice

3 replies

J2023 · 20/06/2023 18:35

Hey all

Am I in the wrong here ? I am in an relationship Feel like I'm a single parent though anyone like this?

We both work I'm PT the other half is FT
He never helps around the house takes little interest in our son our son is 2 years old
Don't get me wrong he watches our son and interacts but I need to ask him to watch our son . Should it not be the case I should be saying hey going to nip out to the gym or to the shop be back soon ?

He's also been totally off too no small gestures etc like I'm always the one who looks for family days our / trips away .

I also plan date nights for us and family member to watch the little one. Yet he doesn't do any of it. it's always me.

He's been became very angry at anything I say . I've came to point I've told him he's completely lazy . I get he works FT but I look after our son all the time and work PY and my hours could be changing to FT soon. I have also suggested for him to take time off work but when he does it's a matter of the same no interest to do anything as a family or couple

I brought up to him how lazy he is and that I'd appreciate the help around the house and input into looking after our son/ planning family days out/ date nights

He just comes home sits on his phone he's even started going up stairs out the road when he comes in from work.

Anyone any advice ?

OP posts:
EllaRaines · 20/06/2023 18:59

I don't think you've approached this the right was as obviously he is unhappy with his home life and being called lazy etc even if he is is only going to make him feel more unhappy at home.

A sit down and an honest and calm talk about how you can see he is not happy and you are not happy and where do you both think this is heading? Without name calling discuss what ways you can get the relationship back on track or if as I suspect, he's already mentally and emotionally checked out, the best way forward to split and co parent your child.

J2023 · 20/06/2023 19:04

EllaRaines · 20/06/2023 18:59

I don't think you've approached this the right was as obviously he is unhappy with his home life and being called lazy etc even if he is is only going to make him feel more unhappy at home.

A sit down and an honest and calm talk about how you can see he is not happy and you are not happy and where do you both think this is heading? Without name calling discuss what ways you can get the relationship back on track or if as I suspect, he's already mentally and emotionally checked out, the best way forward to split and co parent your child.

I appreciate your reply .

I should have actually said we can go for months absolutely fine once we've spoken about things he helps out for a few months we have family days trips / date nights. Then we just go back to the way things are just now.

So using the term lazy I've not came straight out and actually said it in so much words cause I understand how that would make matters worse or him feel worse.

I'm not out to hurt feelings I'm just wanting the guy I love who I fell in love with back. I know having a child changes everything but does that change everything to the t in an relationship ?

OP posts:
J2023 · 20/06/2023 19:05

J2023 · 20/06/2023 18:35

Hey all

Am I in the wrong here ? I am in an relationship Feel like I'm a single parent though anyone like this?

We both work I'm PT the other half is FT
He never helps around the house takes little interest in our son our son is 2 years old
Don't get me wrong he watches our son and interacts but I need to ask him to watch our son . Should it not be the case I should be saying hey going to nip out to the gym or to the shop be back soon ?

He's also been totally off too no small gestures etc like I'm always the one who looks for family days our / trips away .

I also plan date nights for us and family member to watch the little one. Yet he doesn't do any of it. it's always me.

He's been became very angry at anything I say . I've came to point I've told him he's completely lazy . I get he works FT but I look after our son all the time and work PY and my hours could be changing to FT soon. I have also suggested for him to take time off work but when he does it's a matter of the same no interest to do anything as a family or couple

I brought up to him how lazy he is and that I'd appreciate the help around the house and input into looking after our son/ planning family days out/ date nights

He just comes home sits on his phone he's even started going up stairs out the road when he comes in from work.

Anyone any advice ?

Couldn't edit my post I've not came out told him he's lazy in so much words but just I've probably came across that way

OP posts:
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