Hey all, just royally pee'd off today and have DS off sick from school so cannot scream or pick up the phone and rant at friends!! He has nodded off now do thought I would type furiously to you all instead.
Ex partner and father of my 2 DSs was a narcissitic and occasionally violent abuser. Took me 9 years to see this and escape. Awful break up... waa planning it with help from local DA charity but they got word of firearms at property, Police got involved and basically ended things for me leaving kids and I with nowhere to go. Ended up sleeping on my own sofa for 6 months snd then being confined to living in dining room. Eventually got enough money to get out (financial abuse too) with the kids and had to leave my own home which I own half of and he still lives in. We were never married as he didnt believe in it...... saw it as an unfair way for me to get my hands on his hard earned money. I dropped my work to patt time to save on childcare bills and tried to work Saturdays where I could and where he would allow doing something different, to give myself some spending money.
Well we are now living seperately snd its a huge struggle financially.....but its funny how my debts are reducing despite my higher outgoings and huge solucitors bills I am wracking up trying to get him to agree to anything. I am pushing for an arrangement for childcare and splitting the house after failed mediation (not recommended for DA cases but I agreed to it when I still blindly didnt agree that I was subjected to DA) After 4 months of negotiations we came to something that neither of us were overjoyed with but that we could stick to. His solicitor drew up agreement but missed off all but 1 of the points we agreed on. My solicitor then had to rewrite it. That was 2 weeks ago..... my solicitor chased and still no reply. In the meantime I am hurtling towards summer holidays with no idea over holiday childcare plans..... I need to book it this week to secure places. In the meantime he is lording it all over facebook about his fiancee....her beautiful great big engagement ring and their posh swanky wedding ve ue they have just booked!!! Yes.... I am a bit bitter..... I gave up on marriage because of his beliefs. Had always dreamed of my Mum giving me away..... we talked about it constantly...stupid things like she was wearing her motorbike leathers and not a traditional mother of the bride type outfit (truly believe she would of too!) Even on the day she died she said she wished he changed his mind and she could hold out a bit longer.
But arghhhhh...... why can he not sort this all out first??? My saturday job is fast becoming my main income and I can actually build a decent business from it (worryingly its in the wedding industry!!) but I cannot plan my work unless we have the child arrangement plan sorted..... which he appears too busy to sort out right now. This is mine and the kids lives.
I have had to give up my home, my pets and my car..... just feels like they are out there laughing at me and watching me struggle.
Thanks for sticking to the end...... just so cross right now. Sorry for angry typos!