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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Following women on Instagram

12 replies

Maskbailey · 20/06/2023 12:40

My boyfriend has started using Instagram to follow entrepreneurs so he can start his own business. I admire that he pursuing his goals. What I don't like is a few spam Instamodels have started to follow him and he has followed them back. The profiles have a main name then a different name underneath. It is clear they want attention and are showing off their midriff etc.

He said he didn't like his ex posting photos of herself online as they were quite revealing photo just so men would like them but it's ok for him to be following these women's Instagram accounts. One account is private so I don't know if he has liked any photos. From the public accounts I can't see him liking any photos.

I don't know why it is double standards. If I say anything he may just private the account so I can't see who he is following then.

He claims he adores me, loves and respects me so why follow other women. Yet if I followed other men he would feel insecure about his body.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 20/06/2023 12:41

It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all in all honesty, I have no idea who my husband follows nor who follows him as I've never felt the need to check up on this. Why does it matter in a happy and trusting relaitonship?

DismantledKing · 20/06/2023 12:43

It’s none of your business TBH

BayandBlonde · 20/06/2023 12:47

For Christ's sake it's Instagram. You do realise he is never ever going to meet who he follows (unless they are legit friends or family) nor will they meet him.

It's unhealthy and weird to obsess over who he is following and how many 'likes' he gives

Maskbailey · 20/06/2023 12:52

BayandBlonde · 20/06/2023 12:47

For Christ's sake it's Instagram. You do realise he is never ever going to meet who he follows (unless they are legit friends or family) nor will they meet him.

It's unhealthy and weird to obsess over who he is following and how many 'likes' he gives

I'm just fed up of partner's thinking they can tell me not to look at other men or have good friends who are men yet it is ok for them to do so.

OP posts:
Dinoswearunderpants · 20/06/2023 12:56

Maskbailey · 20/06/2023 12:40

My boyfriend has started using Instagram to follow entrepreneurs so he can start his own business. I admire that he pursuing his goals. What I don't like is a few spam Instamodels have started to follow him and he has followed them back. The profiles have a main name then a different name underneath. It is clear they want attention and are showing off their midriff etc.

He said he didn't like his ex posting photos of herself online as they were quite revealing photo just so men would like them but it's ok for him to be following these women's Instagram accounts. One account is private so I don't know if he has liked any photos. From the public accounts I can't see him liking any photos.

I don't know why it is double standards. If I say anything he may just private the account so I can't see who he is following then.

He claims he adores me, loves and respects me so why follow other women. Yet if I followed other men he would feel insecure about his body.

Midriffs... what century do you live in?

You obviously have trust issues in your relationship so perhaps try addressing them directly.

gannett · 20/06/2023 13:02

Instamodels are entrepreneurs! Is he actually interested in their business tips, though?

Double standards is a big red flag. He shouldn't have been policing what his ex posted, and he shouldn't be policing who you follow. Dumping grounds imo.

Maskbailey · 20/06/2023 13:20

gannett · 20/06/2023 13:02

Instamodels are entrepreneurs! Is he actually interested in their business tips, though?

Double standards is a big red flag. He shouldn't have been policing what his ex posted, and he shouldn't be policing who you follow. Dumping grounds imo.

He mainly follows male entrepreneurs. The 3 women he is following are just posers. A good point, he was insecure about his ex.

OP posts:
cassiatwenty · 20/06/2023 13:43

DismantledKing · 20/06/2023 12:43

It’s none of your business TBH

🧐

douglasadamswasright · 20/06/2023 13:51

Maskbailey · 20/06/2023 12:52

I'm just fed up of partner's thinking they can tell me not to look at other men or have good friends who are men yet it is ok for them to do so.

No, that's not what a partner does. Any man who seeks to tell you what to do is a disaster waiting to happen and you should run away quickly.

yellowsmileyface · 20/06/2023 14:07

Maskbailey · 20/06/2023 12:52

I'm just fed up of partner's thinking they can tell me not to look at other men or have good friends who are men yet it is ok for them to do so.

That's the bigger issue here. He sounds very jealous, controlling, and insecure.

How long have you two been together? Has he been like this since the beginning?

Aikko · 20/06/2023 17:19

Maskbailey · 20/06/2023 13:20

He mainly follows male entrepreneurs. The 3 women he is following are just posers. A good point, he was insecure about his ex.

He sounds controlling.

He's followed them on Instagram for his wank-bank, not much more to that.

ninjasnap · 20/06/2023 20:04

You post about this guy a lot, and neither of you seem that into each other or the "relationship."

There's enough red flags between the pair of you to scare Chairman Mao off, why on earth are either of you being so controlling and obsessive?!

I suppose at least you've taken each other off the market...

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