I met my husband on a work trip and we dated for about a year before we got married. One month after we got married he told me he had been seeing other women for casual sex during the first few months of our relationship. He didn't think I was serious about him and thought I would be doing the same even though I asked him for a relationship and he agreed and I had told him that I am in love with him. At the time that I said it he told me that I didn't need to say that to him and just smiled but didn't reciprocate. In hindsight, I can see he was not in love with me.
He also told me that he had been in a lot of casual sex hookups and had cheated in his past relationships. What he told me broke my heart and made me look at him differently. I lost respect for him because of the things that he had done in his past but also that he had cheated on me. He insists it is not cheating because he didn't think I was being serious about him but I can see he doesn't believe this but is unwilling to accept what he has done is wrong because he had his reasons for it.
I agreed to stay married to him but told him that the relationship that we had was dead and we needed to build a new one. It was difficult but I was prepared to do it because I was in love but also looking back now I was also in a state of shock and didn't want to let go of him. Plus, all of my family and friends had seen us get married and I felt embarrassed to tell them about it and end it.
It has been two years since he told me and if I am honest all the love I felt has drained out of me in that time. I cannot look him in the eye most days and most things trigger a sense of revulsion and sadness that I just want to distance myself from him. He has a high sex drive and will not directly approach me for sex but will make it obvious that he wants it fairly regularly. I cannot bring myself to do it most times and will relent after a few days or couple of weeks to keep him appeased. He tells me he loves me and is hurting that I have stopped saying it to him. I feel he does regret what he has done and has learnt too late the value of a relationship with me but I don't feel the same way about him anymore.
We fight on almost a regular basis and he can get quite aggressive very quickly to the point that I cannot say anything that will expose the flaws in his reasoning. We have a child who was not planned and he has been pushing me to have more children.
I have a well paid job and plenty of resources and assets. I control them and he has no access. If we were to divorce then he would get a fraction of my money which was pre-agreed in our marriage contract. I am not concerned about the money or my right to property or my independent living in the future.
I understand his behaviour is unreasonable and that he has realised that he made wrong choices with regard to our relationship. I do believe he loves me (as much as someone of his nature can do) and that he he genuinely make things work for us. If it were not for his deceit then we would have had a very happy marriage but I cannot get over the fact that he didn't tell me everything before we married and waited until after we had done so. If I had known beforehand then there is no chance in hell that I would have married him. Now I don't know what to do