Would I be nuts to embark on this ....?

[cullynsully]

Got chatting to a man. On line but he apologised straight away saying he was literally in the app to delete it ( I had messaged him) as he had just got back with his ex for the umpteenth time so I wished him well and we said goodbye.

He contacted me a few days later to say the relationship was finished , that they couldn't reach an impasse regarding their issue.

We continued to talk and we've met a few times and get on great. Plenty of chemistry too and we've kissed. He has made a big effort to travel distance wise as I simply didn't have the time or energy then.

He felt his love died as their relationship went on as there were so many arguments about the same thing and nothing changed . Let's say they had different ideas about what level of contact one should be having with exes and also commitment differences.

We have a night away booked. We like each other and both want the same thing. Low commitment for the moment as we are both RPs with busy work and family lives .

Would I be mad to embark on this so soon after they have finished ?

It depends what you want from it and where you see it heading.

Someone nice to occasionally hang out with, do nice things with, and shag = Absolutely fine, go for it but the minute it starts to morph into something more serious, step away.

He's not in a good place to be heading into a LTR, IMHO.

No, sometimes things take a long time to reach the end - but when its over, its over and somehow feels and is different from all the other times. But I would just guard my feelings a bit int he early stages in case they havent quite reached that final stage yet and go back for another round. I guess what I'm saying is, proceed with caution :)

Yes I'd have to agree.

I don't want high commitment or anything like that with anyone for years. Our kids are teens so we are busy with them and then we live over an hour away from each other but we would both like to meet up maybe once a week or a fortnight and do nice things together and of course shag!

His ex is heartbroken. Her children are raised and what had happened was that she had started to stay over more and more and was talking about buying property and I suppose just moving to the next stage , naturally enough.

She was however in continuous contact with her exes and from my end, seemed to be trying to keep her partner on his toes showing him sexually inappropriate texts and meeting up with them etc so despite him telling her that he couldn't accept this, she continued to do this for a year and that he said, was the death by a thousand cuts .
His children felt that she didn't want them there either it transpired so he said the decision was almost made for him , as he was so horrified to hear this from them.

He, like me , enjoys his free time in the company of family and friends and also his hobbies so an added element of joy in terms of having a lover and a friend is exactly what he wants too.

I will have to proceed with caution though.
His ex partner is still texting and still suggesting they rekindle their romance.
He has been straight up but she is not accepting this .

Have you been to his house yet for an overnight? You said you've met a few times but now have a night away booked together.

I hate to say it, but the story about the ex and being on/off dating apps sounds a bit like someone who may be looking to cheat. Usually people get to know each other before going on nights away together, unless for certain reasons they can't bring someone back to their home.

We have mutual acquaintances and old
Friends so I know what he says is true .

Urgh, messy.

I know you said you don't want anything heavy but I'll put money on you catching feelings for him and wanting some sort of exclusivity (not necessarily marriage, living together or kids). In reality, he'll end up either cheating on you with his ex or cheating on her with you.

In the meantime, he's got 2 women on the go and all the attention on him..