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Relationships

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Help needed about how to word something

3 replies

zazab · 20/06/2023 11:09

I should start by explaining I'm from a very conservative background, a different culture in many ways from UK or European cultures. I don't like to say exactly where as don't want to out myself. I've lived in the UK since I was very young though (now in mid 30s).

I've never been romantically involved with any British man before, although have been previously married to man from my own background. I'm divorced and have a young child. My ex husband is no longer in our lives (for reasons that are too complicated to go into here).

For the last few months I've found myself falling for a British man and have been told (can't say how) that he's falling for me too. Nothing romantic has happened between us, although we have become close friends. I met him through an activity we both take part in.

He knows my circumstances and background. He's told me the more time he spends with me, the more he likes me. I feel the same way about him but I don't know how to word it to him. I'm so shy. I have been told (by another person) that he's holding back from being more direct with me out of respect for my religion, background as well as because he knows I didn't have a great experience Doesn't want to scare me. Also I've been told he's holding back because of my religion (he doesn't believe I'd be interested in anyone from outside my religion).

How can I word my feelings in a suitable way?

OP posts:
DrNo007 · 20/06/2023 11:15

I think you just have to be direct. Tell him you enjoy spending time with him, value his friendship, and ask him if he has ever thought you could be more to each other. Tell him that you could be open to that. Tell him you are not restricting your relationship decisions on religious grounds ( if that is the case). Keep the convo light and leave him plenty of space to say no he is not interested in more than a friendship.

DrNo007 · 20/06/2023 11:17

I should add that some women waste years of their lives wondering if a certain man may be interested in them. This is draining and a waste of our valuable time. Better to ask and know one way or another.

SpringleDingle · 20/06/2023 11:26

Hey X can I have a little chat with you please? I just wanted to let you know that I have very much enjoyed getting to know you over the last few months and I am beginning to feel a romantic spark between us. I'd just like to be open about that with you and see how you may would feel about this growing into more than just a friendship?

Assuming he reacts positively.

I am so pleased to hear that. I am hoping that we can take it slowly at first but I'd really enjoy going out on a proper date with you (offer up a suggestion of a suitable location if you have one) one evening.

After that leave it to him to make plans with you if he wants to.... I agree - direct is best but it can be done in a way that shows you don't want to immediately hop into bed with him.

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