Who prefers being single?

[Jebster]

Do you think it's true that when you stop looking for love you eventually find it?

I like the sound of a relationship and would be open to one IF I met the right person. However I value my own company too much and I think looking for a relationship at least in my personal experience always leads to the wrong person.

Getting to the stage though where I don't think relationships are worth looking for or seeking out.

Anyone else feel similar?

Me! Can’t be bothered. There are SO few men who would actually enhance my life.
Wish I hadn’t spend so much of my time or energy on trying to find/keep a man.

I love my single life.

But I also having a person to go to for comfort, intimacy, giggles and generally enjoy life with.

I fiercely value my independence and need my space in a relationship. Men who live aboard, have very demanding jobs or want something a bit casual seem to fit the bill.

I'm very open them around my wishes and they completely understand. I think the whole thing of being in a relationship and the conveyor of moving in, marriage, kids, same beds etc works well for a vanishingly small number of people.

If I were to live with a partner, ie kids, I'd probably insist on having my own bedroom and a day to myself every now and then.

TwighlightSkies I wish I hadn't wasted my 30s looking for a relationship. All that looking and what has it achieved? Sweet fuck all except disappointment 🤣

Me!
And also, kind of not me 😄

I would live to be in fantasy version of a relationship.
I’m not the best at being single/alone, which is odd - considering I’ve been single all my life (37 years!)

But I’m sex repulsed and sadly everyone seems to demand that shit, so I’m happy to be single, just for that!

There’s a long thread on this that was just posted a couple of days ago, I did at first but now miss sex and intimacy and I am not having a fwb (not my thing) I haven’t looked in 6 years though and it hasn’t happened so don’t personally believe that

I feel exactly the same.

I'm older than you. I have always attracted controlling men or those who regard me as a good financial bet. I failed to find someone who just wanted an equal partner.
Now I have a lovely son, a nice home, a job I enjoy, friends, hobbies, a reasonable pension. I'd like a relationship, as I always have but as @TwilightSkies says, finding someone who enhances my life is what counts and the chances are very small.

@MaxwellCat I don't blame you. Will never do FWB again either. Always end up catching feelings for someone and it's never reciprocated.

@MintJulia That's all I have ever wanted as well. In a world full of people you would think it would be easy to find some compatible people at least. Well good luck regardless whether you find someone to enjoy life with.

Me, in my early 50s, divorced for about five years. My marriage was good for the first five years, I ended it after 17 years. That was enough mediocrity on the journey towards unhappiness for one lifetime.

It took me a while to get back on my feet financially and I'll be working until I'm 67 but I am happy on my own.

Also not remotely interested in FWB. Never tried it because it just isn't me.

@YouAreNotBatman I've learnt to be alone and just embraced it but everyone is different. Sometimes it would be nice for some company but then I think my dog is better company than most people 🤣

Definitely no man is ever loving me with me again and the pool of decent me,n is tiny now I’m 57 soon, so not bothered anymore.
if he’s a billionaire spitting imagine of Matthew Modine I’ll think again 😂😂😂😂seriously though since that won’t happens, don’t drink never again will I be with a smoker, sports fan drinker.

Sorry meant living with me.

@ThankGodItsRaining I've never seen the appeal of FWB. The whole point of friends to me is people you don't have sex with. I'm an all or nothing person. You either want sex or the option of getting to know one another for something potentially long term and romantic. I'm old fashioned I guess and have traditional values when it comes to relationships. Couldn't do open relationships or non ethical monogamy. If that was all that was offered I'd stay single.

Me too OP, absolutely! I didn't recognise my username there! I change it most months and it's a topical one for this week.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone to go away with ...... probably because single supplements are so much cash. Then I remember what it is like to share a room with someone 😂.

It took a while and COVID got in the way a bit when rebuilding my life but I have made some great friends post divorce. I have a few hobbies and a busy job.

I can't imagine a) risking my financial security ever again and b) meeting someone who, like @MintJulia said upthread, enhances my life.

@TwilightSkies. Spot on!!!

I think the saying you'll find it once you stop looking is just a myth tbh.

Same as when people post about shit relationships on here and get told there's someone better out there for them.. There actually might NOT be anyone better out there for them

Which isn't to say stay in a bad relationship. Being single is infinitely preferable. I do think the fact women are all told there's someone out there for them is damaging though. We should be encouraged to accept that there might not be and that's okay.

I've been single 4 years now. As a mid 40s lone parents of small DC I don't think my chances in the dating market are very high. Sometimes I feel really sad about it but I mostly just get on with life. No other choice really. I'd rather die than OLD again so here I am.

Don’t do friends with benefits non that I fancy and can’t be bothered now. Never again will I share financial stuff no mess no looking after man child.